O.V.W.

[Soutter]

[The scene opens up to show The Centre of Attention, Soutter, walking through the car park of the Gold Club in Atlanta, he is wearing a black and red leather vest and blue denim jeans and is wheeling his gear behind him on one of them suit cases with the wheels. As he approaches the entry way, he is accosted by OCW interviewer Tye Gibson.]

Tye Gibson : Soutter! I heard you were heard in the OCW, word is you want some easy gold.

Soutter : Word is you have hooked up with Miriam.

Tye Gibson : Well, ummm ....

[Soutter leans up against the concrete pole in the car park, watching Tye
squirm.]

Tye Gibson : (trying to keep his composure) The fans aren't interested in me Suit. Its you they want to know about, so tell us, why exactly are you here in OCW?

Soutter : Why? Why not? Its as good a place as any. True the competition ain't up to the standard that i am used of, but i'm sure after a few matches with The Big Bad Bustling Bandit carrying these turkey's that they will be able to .... damn, who am i kidding, we all know they cant compete with me, but who ever could? Your looking at the most dominant force in this business, the number ONE man in the industry!

Tye Gibson : I don't know about that Suit, i mean, Syberus is meant to be coming here, why i saw him on the tv just the other day, and boy, he seems very confident. He was talking about The Incompetence Zone and ...

Soutter : Syberus talking about the Incompetence Zone. How fitting.

Tye Gibson : I take it you don't think much of him?

Soutter : Never have and never will. Some people have it, some don't, and then there's some who think they do, thats Syberus.

Tye Gibson : He is a two time ...

Soutter : Who cares? Who really cares Tye? Do you really think i stopped by here early to listen to you babble about Syberus, please. No, i am here to talk about more important things then him.

Tye Gibson : Such as?

Soutter : Such as a him!

[Tye turns around, the camera shot following him to see Christian Sebastian Kennedy standing behind him, immaculately dressed, a cocky smile on his face. Tye jumps back in shock tripping over the camera cords and landing on his back.]

Tye: It's y.. y.

CSK: Cat got your tongue boy? Spit it out lassie, come on.

Tye: What are you doing here? You and Soutter, this makes no sense!

[Christian lowers his shades down just a bit and shines that million dollar smile and pats Soutter on the back.]

CSK: Oh but it does make sense. For the last two years I've spent my career dismantling the KGB piece by piece have I not?

Tye: Which is why this doesn't make sense.

CSK: Kid, do you like puzzles?

Tye: I suppose but what does that have to do with this?

CSK: Then we're going to play a game so hear me out. I've spent two years going from the bottem of the KGB to the top and back down. Yet the only one with the balls to never leave was Soutter.

Tye: You two have never had a one on one match.

CSK: Kid, shut up and listen to me. Did I say speak? Did I say I was through? Sit down and if you're good I'll pet your stomach and give you a doggy treat when I'm done.

[Christian sets his luxury bag down and strokes his chin before continuing on.]

CSK: Fact is Soutter discovered me and we went to war. For two years we've been the most under appreciated, over looked men in this business. So we put our brains together and decided why not team up?

Tye: But you two can't get along!

CSK: Kid, have you seen us in the ring as a unit yet? Didn't think so, now listen. Granted there's some hate there and always will be. But you've got two of the greatest in the business teaming up together. So here's the deal.

[Christian opens up his thousand dollar suit jacket and points to his waist.]

CSK: Right now there's no gold around this waist. There hasn't been gold around this waist for well over a year. Fact is, we're here to be the most dominant tag team you've ever seen. And if one of us wins the world title, the other one will be the first to challenge.

Tye: But, that sounds like you two can't work as a unit.

CSK: Kid, you're dumber then a little child with ADD. Fact is, when we win the tag team titles we'll be sending out a message. But that doesn't mean neither one of us want the whole world in the palm of our hands. Business is business but being the world champion is the top of the line.

Tye: So this means wh..

CSK: This means the interview is over. Soutter and I have much bigger things to take care of right now.

[CSK buttons up his thousand dollar suit jacket and puts his shades back up, as a stunned Tye looks on. ]

[Soutter]

[The scene opens up to show The 400 pound Centre of Attention Soutter sitting in a reclining chair with a map of Australia as he back drop. Soutter is wearing blue denim pants and muscle singlet top, that is bulging more from his weight then from any muscles, although he does look strong, there is no real definition there.]

Voice over : Defining moment.

In everyone's life, there is a defining moment.

A moment that can change everything as they know it.

A moment that can make or break a person .... or a company.

........ Today is a defining moment for one company in particular, the OCW. Outlaw Championship Wrestling.

Today is the day that the Centre of Attention himself, Soutter, throws his hat into the ring and instantly turns the heads of the whole industry.

The industry in which he is known as THE number ONE man.

The industry in which he is second to NONE!

Soutter : Thats right turkey's, I'mmmmmmmm heeeere!

[Soutter pauses then continues.]

Outlaw Championship Wrestling, who better suited to building this place around then the Suit himself, Soutter! Who better to join the Outlaw's then a Bandit. The Big Bad Bustling Bandit!

Atlanta, here i come baby!

[Scene fades too .....]

[Soutter]

[The scene opens up to show Soutter walking through the hallway just after D - Day in Detroit, he is steaming hot and walks right towards the camera, grabbing it in a near choke hold.]

Soutter : (spittle flying in his tirade) PACKER!!!

What the hell was that!

What sort of game do you think you are playing with me here!

Making that trap door to small for a man of my girth to fit through!

You got to have rocks in your head pal!

I ought to sue your ass!

Discrimination!

Thats what it is!

DISCRIMINATION!

[Soutter pushes the cameraman and thus the camera up against the wall.]

AND SADLER!

Don't think i have forgotten about you either pal. I ought to sue you as well.

For theft, cause you are right now in possession of my property!

Enjoy it while you can turkey, but come June 10th, that belt is mine.

Thats right punk, i'll bet you and Packer thought you were real clever coming up with the trap door crap, but looks like you outsmarted yourselves, because i am still here. I don't quit and leave a fed after one loss.

And ......

I am the number one contender, and that means i own you Sadler. There is no way around it, no escape, your mine, plain and simple, anyway you look at it.

I just put on one of the most dominant displays ever witnessed in this industry, and it was nothing compared to what i have in mind for you Sadler!

Get the camera out pal, and take all the photo's you can of you and my belt, because you wont be having it much longer, your days are numbered and you only just got the thing.

It doesn't sit well with me Sadler that you will go down in history as the first ever OCW Heavyweight Champ, but rest assured, once the gold is where it belongs, with the Big Bad Bustling Bandit, that this company will be able to go to new heights with a champion that they can build around, and we can put the joke that is David Sadler behind us.

[Soutter lets go of the camera and power walks out the door.]

[Soutter]

[The scene opens up to show a man in his mid to early thirties driving down an un named highway, he has a brown goatie beard, is wearing a Outlaw Wrestling t-shirt, and eating a packet of chips which is on the passenger seat beside him. He looks at the time and smiles, then turns up the radio.

Kyle Callaghan : YO, YO, YO!!! This is DJ Kyle Callaghan, and your tuned into Wrestle Radio, 316 on your FM dial, and now is the time i have been waiting for, we've been telling you he was going to be with us all night folks, and here he is, The Centre of Attention, The Big Bad Bustling Bandit, SOUTTER!!!

Soutter : Thanks Kyle, you trying to get a ring announcing gig or something?

Kyle Callaghan : Yeah, I've been working on the into's, heh, B.G. James i aint, but i think i could carry my own, (Road dog imitation) You didn't know!

Soutter : Promise me something Kyle

Kyle Callaghan : Sure, you name it.

Soutter : Never do that again!

Kyle Callaghan : Ohh, come on Suit, (again in Road dog imitation) Your ass better call somebody

<CLICK>

Kyle Callaghan :Soutter? ..... Hello, are you there Suit?

......

Kyle Callaghan : Ummm, we seem to of lost Soutter folks, must be a technical glitch, we'll be right back after this short break, hopefully with this little glitch under control.

<Commercial for Outlaw Championship Wrestling, followed by a commercial for Penis Enlargement, Viagra, and then a commercial with someone claiming to be from a remote war torn country wanting to place millions of dollars into your bank account, if you would just email him with "all" of your banking details>

Kyle Callaghan : And we are back folks, once again with the number ONE man in the wrestling industry, SOUTTER!

Soutter : Glad to be back Kyle, don't know what could of happened there, but its good to back on the air.

Kyle Callaghan : Its great to have you back with us, now, before i loose my mind and break out in a rendition of "With my baby tonight", lets get into it, firstly, OCW, why?

Soutter : Why? Why not. You know, a few months back, i was through with this business, burned out, a bitter and frustrated man, but then my old friend Reg Packer calls me up telling me he is opening up this place, so i figure hell, why not.

Kyle Callaghan : And then ...

Soutter : And then he goes and screws me over! I don't like to beat a dead horse Kyle, and i am the last man to scream screw job after every loss, but facts are facts, and the facts are, he called me down here, promised me the world, said he had this great match set up that i couldn't lose, then goes and makes the trap door to small for me to fit through, big mistake Reg! BIG MISTAKE!

Kyle Callaghan : Seems like that wasn't his only mistake, because in screwing you, he also screwed himself, and his lackey Sadler in making you the number one contender.

Soutter : He didn't make me the number one contender, I made me the number one contender, i steamrolled through every single so called man in that cage, had my way with each and every one of them... No .. he didn't make me the number one contender, after my performance, there was no other option there for him.

Kyle Callaghan : And what about your opponent, Sadler, he seems to of gone into hiding or something ...

Soutter : Can you blame him? If you had just won yourself a world title wouldn't you be over the moon? Wouldn't you be running around telling the world? Of course you would, anyone would, unless ....

Kyle Callaghan : Unless ...

Soutter : Unless they had to meet The Big Bad Bustling Bandit in there very first defense. Unless they knew they were about to lose the title, after just getting there hands on it.

Kyle Callaghan: Good point Suit.

Soutter : But don't worry Sadler, see, once i defeat you for "my" title, and defeat you i will. Well, i'm going to request that you get a rematch, no, actually, im going to insist that you do. And i have a fair idea that that request will come to fruition, see, normally when there is a new champ, as i will be, they set him up against one of the lower guys in his first defence, someone to make him look good and put him over as champion, someone who has no hope of beating him, someone like you wish you were facing instead of the likes of The Centre of Attention. Also, the former champion is entitled to a rematch, its in all championship contracts, stock standard stuff, and lucky for you Sadler, you will be falling into both categories, 1. No talent turkey without a hope in hell of beating the new champ, that being me, and 2. former champ wanting a rematch. The powers that be here in OCW will be able to kill two birds with one stone.

Kyle Callaghan : Sorry Suit, but i just cant hold it in any longer, i mean if this were a worthy opponent for you i would try to with hold a bit longer, but frankly, all this talk about Sadler, even "you" cant keep the fans interested in him for too long, so, here goes...... (Road dog impersonation again) Tag team champions of the Woooooooorld!

<CLICK>

Kyle Callaghan : Damn, i knew it, o well, sorry about that fans, but i was left with a hard choice, when confronted with the choice of having Soutter on the air, but having him talk about Sadler, no matter how much we like to hear from the Bandit, there still was no choice, Sadler = people changing the radio station, and we cant ha.....

[The driver having had enough of hearing the name Sadler reaches over and changes the radio station, as the scene fades to ....]

[Soutter]

[The scene opens up to show The Centre of Attention, Soutter walking through the car park of the Gold Club in Atlanta, he is wearing a black and red leather vest and blue denim jeans and is wheeling his gear behind him on one of them suit cases with the wheels. As he approaches the entry way, he is accosted by OCW interviewer Tye Gibson.]

Tye Gibson : Soutter! I heard you were heard in the OCW, word is you want some easy gold.

Soutter : Word is you have hooked up with Miriam.

Tye Gibson : Well, ummm ....

[Soutter leans up against the concrete pole in the car park, watching Tye squirm.]

Tye Gibson : (trying to keep his composure) The fans aren't interested in me Suit. Its you they want to know about, so tell us, why exactly are you here in OCW?

Soutter : Why? Why not? Its as good a place as any. True the competition ain't up to the standard that i am used of, but i'm sure after a few matches with The Big Bad Bustling Bandit carrying these turkey's that they will be able to .... damn, who am i kidding, we all know they cant compete with me, but who ever could? Your looking at the most dominant force in this business, the number ONE man in the industry!

Tye Gibson : I don't know about that Suit, i mean, Syberus is meant to be coming here, why i saw him on the tv just the other day, and boy, he seems very confident. He was talking about The Incompetence Zone and ...

Soutter : Syberus talking about the Incompetence Zone. How fitting.

Tye Gibson : I take it you don't think much of him?

Soutter : Never have and never will. Some people have it, some don't, and then there's some who think they do, thats Syberus.

Tye Gibson : He is a two time ...

Soutter : Who cares? Who really cares Tye? Do you really think i stopped by here early to listen to you babble about Syberus, please. No, i am here to talk about more important things then him.

Tye Gibson : Such as?

Soutter : Such as a him!

[Tye turns around, the camera shot following him to see Christian Sebastian Kennedy standing behind him, immaculately dressed, a cocky smile on his face. Tye jumps back in shock tripping over the camera cords and landing on his back.]

[Soutter]

[The scene opens up to show the Centre of Attention Soutter entering the arena for June Jam, he is wearing blue denim pants, a sleeveless denim vest over a Soutter t-shirt, and has big old cowboy boots on. He walks in the front door, and down the hallway and then makes his way down to the ring. The stadium is empty, there is no one there yet, but this doesn't seem to phase him, and he looks around, takes a deep breathe, and then leans up against the ropes of the ring that has just been set up.]

Soutter : Look at this Sadler!

[The shot pans around the empty arena.]

Soutter : Take a good look, because this right here is going to be the scene of your nightmares for years to come. When you are lying on your back in the quacks office, and he asks you where it all started, you can tell him right here, when you were lying on your back at the hands of the Bandit.

Big Bad Bustling Bandit that is!

Boy, if you think you have a snow balls chance in hell of holding onto that title you lucked yourself into, then you must be dumber then you look, you got it all given to you Sadler, only to have it all taken away just as you got it.

You are everything that is wrong with this business, and i am going to revel in making an example out of you, a lesson to all those who think they can take the easy route, if you will.

You have the Heavyweight title handed to you on a silver platter care of the dead man walking Reg Packer, after making that trap door to small for me to fit through, and he then offers you the chance to hang onto it, saying you can nominate any stip you want to defend the title, all you had to say boy was that you wanted the same match.

Thats all you had to do Sadler.

Seems pretty easy doesn't it, when you have a brain. I mean, if the only reason you won was because i couldn't fit through the trap door, and you were then told you could pick any stip you wanted, then why wouldn't you nominate the same stip?

You know i cant fit through the door.

Seems pretty bloody obvious to me, which leaves us with two reasons as to why you didn't go that way.

a) The obvious choice, and most probably the right one, that you just plain didn't think of it.

You knew that to pick that stip you would have to step into the cage with me, and even knowing i couldn't get through the door to win the match, you were still to frightened to go for such a match, because you would then be trapped in there with me, one on one, and thats a place you wouldn't want to be.

[Soutter motions for the camera to move closer.]

Now, getting back to what i was talking about before, that being you standing for everything that is wrong with this business.

Back in the day, if you wanted to make it in this business, you had to bust your ass, pay your dues, bleeding and sweating in front of 30 people who couldn't care less if you walked out of the ring or not. It took years to work your way up the ranks, and when you made it there, you knew you had earned it, you had respect, from not only the fans, but the boys in the back, the guys in the office, everyone.

Now ...

Anyone can win a world title. They hand them out to anyone who turns up, and if they don't get one, they go and open up there own fed and give themselves one.

Why, just the other day, i was going through the drive through at McDonalds ....

[Soutter goes into a trance.]

Mmmmmmmmmmm ... McDonalds.

[Soutter snaps out of the trance.]

Where was i , ohh yeah.

So there i was, driving through McDonalds, had finished up giving the girl my order, and she asks me if i want a World title to go with that.

A bloody World Championship!

Think its a joke? Think i'm making it up? Your dead wrong, any fool can get there hands on a Title these days, think i'm wrong, just have a look at your resume Sadler, there's the proof right there.

A title doesn't make a champion, a champion makes a title!

Think about that, long and hard pal.

Right now, that title means jack squat in this business, and if you want to know why, you need not go around trying to rate our shows out of ten, instead, go and have a look in the mirror, and you'll see why the title means squat.....

The fact that you represent this fed as our Champion makes me sick, ..... but all thats about to change, because there is a new champion in town, or at least there will be very shortly, and i like it like that!

[Soutter]

[The scene opens up to show a room that is a complete mess. Beer bottles lying all over the joint, streamers, balloons, and bodies all over the place, sleeping, not dead. One of the bodies, the biggest, starts to rise, the big man unrecognisable by the pair of panties over his head like a sleeping blindfold. He stretches, then lets our a huge fart and scratches his ass before moving the panties from his face, to reveal the new OCW World Champion, Soutter.]

Soutter : Good lord, what a night, my head is throbbing like i just spent an hour in the ring with both Hellhounds ..... it hurts nearly as much as the after effect of watching a Sadler promo ..... i feel like i have been drinking for a week, not a day.

[In actual fact, Soutter has been drinking for a week, he just doesn't realize it yet in his hung over state, these sort of things happen when you are celebrating winning the World title.]

Soutter : Man, what a party, and what a mess. Look at this joint, what a mess.

[Shot pans once more over the room, this time, showing that it is actually a motel room, not Soutter's house, thank goodness. Soutter walks to the door, stopping along the way to swipe a head of empty beers from a shiny object, which is revealed to be the World Heavyweight Belt, it looks a bit worse for wear, and Soutter tries to give it the dry wash with the blinds in the motel room.]

Soutter : I'll have to personally thank Packer for this room. What a gift for the world champ, i still don't trust him, and know he is up to something, but he sure is going to have fun explaining this mess.

[Scene cuts to Soutter now in his own place, flipping through his mail, when he comes across an OCW letter head.]

Soutter : Next months card .... lets see who i got in my first defense ....

[Soutter's eyebrows raise, and he reads over the name again.]

Soutter : Hmmm .... Adrian Tanner Jr. Well how about that. I thought you actually had to do something to get a title shot around here, but looks like i was wrong there. That turkey didn't even make it to last months show did he?

Looks like Packer is going for the big bucks right away. Everyone knows the animosity between myself and the Tanner clan. I have made a career out of beating on that family, but why now?

Why in my first defence?

[Soutter opens a packet of cereal, pouring a huge bowl full.]

Soutter : Something is a bit fishy here. First Packer screws me out of the first match, making the cage too small for me to get through, now, in my first defence, instead of giving me an opponent to make me look good, he gives me one of the best wrestlers in the company. There is no doubt Adrian is the cream of the crop when it comes to the Tanner's.

I don't get it, i might have to look up that Shocket union guy and run a few things buy him, even though i don't trust him either. There is only one guy around here i can trust, and thats me! The Big Bad Bustling Bandit, The Centre of Attention, THE number ONE man in this business. I thought i could trust CSK, but who can tell with that guy, i mean, the only thing we have heard from him since he came here with me was that he would expect to be given the first title shot if i ever won it.

"IF"?

Like it was ever in doubt. He needs to learn you got to do more then that to get a title shot around here, granted Tanner hasn't, but .... but nothing, who knows what you got to do to get a title shot around here ...... turkey's don't realize that it is in actuality, a death sentence. A catch 22 if you will, they get there big chance, finally, a shot at the gold, in the main event, against The Centre of Attention Soutter.

Then that last bit dawns on them....... against The Centre of Attention Soutter.

Thats when they start to doubt themselves. Thats when there whole fantasy comes crashing down on them, wishing themselves away into fairy land "Why couldn't i have gotten my shot against Sadler!"

[Soutter pours some milk into his cereal, then looks into the cereal box to see if there is any toys in there, he pulls out a World Heavyweight title.]

Soutter : Damn, you can get these things any where these days. But like i said, its not the belt that makes a champion. Its the champion that makes the belt!

And i got a lot of work to do to bring some credibility to this title, first its Tanner, that should get some of the stench of Sadler from the belt, then who knows who's next, but it wont be long until this belt is ranked right up there with the best in the business, and people will be coming from everywhere, just to get a shot at me, Soutter, and the OCW Championship, and i like it like that!

[Soutter]

Behind the curtain. 1st segment

----

Landrum : Folks, we got a treat for you tonight. Over the last month, our colleague here Carson James has been on the road with our very own World Heavyweight Champion Paul Soutter, collecting some footage to show you all what its like behind the curtain if you will.

Carson James : (looking worried)Hang on a second Landrum. I thought this whole thing was cancelled, that we weren't going to show it.

Landrum : Afraid not pal, whatever gave you that idea? Lets roll it.

[Tron lights up to show a trashed motel room, bodies laying everywhere, and Carson James tip toe'ing in, looking around in shock. Amide the pile of wreckage, a huge figure emerges, a pair of panties obscuring his face. The man stretches his arms out, yawns and then belches loudly, before going to rub his eyes, he stops, unaware that the panties were there, removes them, revealing himself to be The Centre of Attention, Soutter, and rubs his eyes, turning his attention to Carson James standing there staring at him in horror.]

Soutter : Some celebration, hey man.

Carson James : Fortunately for me, i missed it.

Soutter : Ohhh, i thought you looked familiar, are you sure your not the guy that was bugging me for Adrian Tanners phone number all night, o well, must of confused you with someone else, what can i do for you pal?

[Soutter walks over to the curtains of the motel and rubs his hands clean on them.]

Carson James : This place is a mess, you'll never get your deposit back, you beastly man.

Soutter : Ohhhhhh ....... now i know who you are, that turkey commentator who keeps calling me beastly, what the hell is your problem man?

Carson James : My problem dear sir, is that i have been assigned a special assignment over the next month, to travel around with you, showing the fans what a day in the life of a OCW superstar is really like "behind the curtain".

Soutter : Rings a bell, i think i read a memo about that somewhere, fair enough, lets go.

[Soutter tosses the panties over his head, landing next to Carson, who tucks them under his jacket while he thinks no one is looking.]

Soutter : Packer is going to have a heart attack when he gets this bill!

[Soutter]

Landrum : Wow, what a match that was, and now its time for part two of our special with Soutter and Carson, Behind the Curtain.

Carson James : Nooooooooo!

[The 'tron lights up again to show Soutter and Carson James in a plane heading to Soutter's home land of Australia. Soutter's eyes are bloodshot, and he is visibly drunk, and Carson James looks a little gone himself.]

Soutter : (slurring) Thats what i'm trying to tell you man, no one in this damn federation will face me. I am the World Champ, THE BLOODY WORLD CHAMP, and they still wont face me.

Carson James : (also slurring) This stuff really hits you at this high an altitude.

Soutter : (sarcastically) Yeah, thats got to be it man, the altitude!

Carson James : How much longer?

Soutter : Ohhh, i don't know, 6 or 7 hours.

Carson James : You know, when Packer first gave me this assignment, honestly, i wasn't happy. The thought of spending an entire month with a man as beastly as yourself, frankly, it repulsed me, but now that i have got to know you, i don't know why i ever felt that way.

Soutter : Your one of the lucky one's. You can sit there behind the desk with the mic, trying to describe what we do, but you know nothing of what its like to get in that ring and face your opponent man to man, but you ain't so bad yourself.

Carson James : (lifting his glass high in the air drunkenly) I LOVE YOU MAN!

Soutter : Whoa! Hold it right there cowboy. No more drinks for you tonight.

Carson James : No, i mean it, you are an absolute legend man, the greatest friend a man could ever have.

[Carson slumps into his chair asleep.]

Soutter : Boy, that was only his second, maybe it is the altitude, but we'll find out when we get to Melbourne, MWUAHAHAHA!

[Soutter takes his shoes off, and puts his feet up on the chair, his smelly socks right next to Carson's head as he dozes off himself.]

[Soutter]

behind the curtain part 3

-----

Landrum : And we are back folks, thanks for sticking with us.

Carson James : Who we got up next?

Landrum : Funny you should mention that. Its time for part three of your special with the Big Bad Bustling Bandit, Behind the Curtain 3!!!! Hit it guys.

Carson James : Noooooooooo!

[The 'tron lights up again, this time showing OCW World Heavyweight Champion, Soutter and Carson James on a football field.]

Soutter : Ok James. Time to show you and the fans what us aussies get up to in our spare time. There are three things Aussies care about. 1. Drinking. 2. Football, and not your American gridiron football crap, or them pansy euro 2004 soccer players that fall like they have been shot at the slightest contact, im talking real footy, Australian Rules footy! The best game in the world, and 3. Cricket.

Carson James : (disinterested) Footy and cricket, gotcha.

Soutter : Good. Now, this is a football.

[Soutter shows the ball to Carson. Then kicks it off screen to an unseen person.]

Soutter : Now, he is going to kick it back to us, and we have to compete to grab it, which is called a mark.

Carson James : O ...k. If we must.

[Several shots are then shown of Carson running towards Soutter as the ball is flying towards them in the air, and just bouncing off him like he is a brick wall in various different directions while Soutter stands his ground and marks the ball.]

Soutter : Do you even have an athletic bone on your body man, hell, you have about as much co ordination as the boys in the back at OCW.

Carson James : Its a stupid game.

Soutter : No, you just don't know how to play, don't worry over it. Here ... (Soutter passes Carson a cricket bat) Lets have a try at this instead.

[Shot moves down to some training nets, where Carson is now wearing some protective equipment, some pads on his legs, a helmet, padded gloves and we are presuming the protective cup known as a box, for the balls.]

Soutter : Ok, this is how you do it.

[An unknown man bowls a ball to Soutter, who smashes it into the net with the bat. Another ball comes down and Soutter cracks it straight back down the net at the bowler.]

Soutter : See .... its easy, now you have a try.

[Carson moves hesitantly into the net taking his position, while Soutter prepares to bowl it into him. Various shots are again shown, this time with the ball smacking continually into Carson. He gets hit on the helmet, the shoulder, the chest, and you guessed it, right in the jewels, which cup or no cup still hurts like hell.]

Soutter : (approaching Carson after getting him in the nuts) Holly shit, sorry man, are you allright?

Carson : (high pitched voice) I think i'll be ok.

Soutter : You were wearing that cup i gave you?

Carson : (groaning) Yeaaaaah.

Soutter : Good, or else we may of lost the ball!

[Scene fades back to Carson and Landrum at the commentary booth.]

[Soutter]

behind the curtain 4

---------

Landrum : Guess what Carson?

Carson James : (sarcastically) Go on, surprise me.

Landrum : Ok. Folks, its that time of the night again, Behind the Curtain 4!!!! Roll it!

['Tron lights up to show Soutter and Carson walking into a gym.]

Soutter : Now this is the hottest gym in Melbourne we are going to Carson, some of the hottest women in Australia come here, not to mention the best canteen i have ever seen in.

Carson James : Like thats what a gym is really about. (under his breathe) Beastly man.

[Soutter and Carson walk in and Soutter walks straight to the canteen, grabs two full trays of food to eat, and heads to what he describes to Carson as his fav table in the house. A shot from another camera angle showing the in progress aerobics class through the window reveals why.]

Soutter : Yep, this gym sure does keep you in shape.

Carson James : (Skeptically) Is that so?

Soutter : You know it.

[Scene moves forward to show Soutter with his feet up on the table, both trays of food empty and a satisfied smile on his face.]

Soutter : Now thats what i call a work out!

Carson James : Ohhh come on now Suit. You haven't moved a muscle, apart from stuffing your face. Lets be honest, you don't look like you have worked out a day in your life?

Soutter : Listen up turkey. I work out every day of my life. I travel the world busting my ass in the ring, and all for my great fans. I don't need to lift weights to stay in shape, i am strong as an ox, and i can last in the ring with the best of them. Trust me pal, its called ring shape. Look at them guys there flexing there muscles with the bar bells while looking in the mirror, why, they couldn't last five minutes in the ring with the likes of me.

Carson James : How can that be?

Soutter : Well, unlike that girl over there.

[Shot of a beauty with huge knockers]

Soutter : ..... unlike her, its all natural pal. Natural power! Naturally gifted. The stamina, that comes from practice, pure and simple, you get in that ring for 10 minutes, trust me, you'll feel like you have run a marathon, and i do it, day in, day out, week in, week out, and i like it like that!

Carson James : Well, there you have it folks, a week in the life of the World heavyweight Champion, we hope this brought you some insight into what it takes to be a wrestler, i must say, it sure was an experience for me.