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Post by Soutter on Jun 23, 2007 23:42:36 GMT
We see Kota, Reginald P Packer and Soutter, The House of Pain. They are inside there Palm Springs Inn they have rented out and are going over final preparations for there match.
Packer : These guys are a joke, you two monsters are gonna run right threw them baby! Like a hot knife threw butter!
Soutter : You know it Reg. Turkey's honestly believe they have a shot. Either one of the big man here or myself could take 'em single handedly, let alone combined.
Kota : I have watched them gentlemen, and i think we may be under estimating them. What they say rings true, we have pretty much just dismissed them. You know what they say, the one who neglects what is right in front of him when looking ahead can walk right into big fucking hole.
Soutter : Dont sweat them Kota. We look past them and rightfully so. What the hell have they done in there miserable careers. We are the House of Pain!! Soon to be Hardkore World Tag Team Champions. They are cannon fodder. The Heartbreakers. Seratonin. Eugene.
Packer : Ohh, come on now Suit. Dont insult the intelligence of Eugene by comparing him to the Star Gazers.
Packer stands up and paces in front of Suit and Kota.
Packer : Ok, here's what i want us to do guys. These Stargazers have run there traps, i wanna make them pay. You two make them bleed! Break bones! Break rules! Do whatever you feel is necessary. They want to feed us entree's, we'll eat these entree's alive!!!
Kota licks his lips, heads over and opens the fridge, ripping a live chicken from there, feathers flying as he tears the live chicken in half with both hands and takes a huge bite, blood dripping down his chin. Soutter and Packer look at each other and then both simultaneously smile at the savage.
Soutter : Wanna know why we neglected you Star Gazers? Why i went out of my way to pick a fight with the upper card. Because thats where i belong peanut! You guys are filler! Plain and simple!
That enough on these monkeys_good.
Now back to others who actually somewhat interest us. Last week we noticed James Fierce was trying to bring in a new catch phrase. Sunshine. By repeating it 78 times in each sentence. Well, one other thing i noticed, was that he has started referring to himself as THE James Fierce.
I wonder where he got that idea from?
Soutter and Packer give blank expressions to the camera. Kota just continues devouring the chicken.
When you are coming up with a catch phrase, try and make it original, no one wants to hear you pretending to be one of the wrestlers you see on tv. Smell what i'm cooking?
Suit raises his eyebrow to the camera.
I am Cobryn and i approve this message.
I expected better of you sweet mouth. What, did you have a calender and mark down a date when you thought it would be long enough after sandman said it to start using it. Pathetic.
What?
'Cause The Suit Said So!
Dig It!
Brother!
What a Rush!!
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Post by Soutter on Jun 23, 2007 23:43:10 GMT
Thats MIDAS YOU MEATAXE!
Scene opens up on a young teenager, lying in his room listening to the radio.
Kyle Callaghan : Yo, Yo, Yo! This is DJ Kyle Callaghan and your tuned into Wrestle Radio! 316 on your FM Dial! Tonight, we have a special guest. Someone who was somewhat of a regular here with us, but we haven't spoken to in while, The Suit! Mad Dog Paul Soutter! (someone in the studio hits the applause button) How's things Suit?
Soutter : Things are ok. Not the best, been worse.
Kyle Callaghan : Really, what do you mean by that.
Soutter : I mean, things have been worse. But they have also been better. Seems to me a lot of people around here are happy just to tread water and rest on there laurels, go through the motions and just quite frankly ... half ass it.
Me, i dont go that way. I give it my all each and every time i enter the ring. Every_single_time!
And what happens, some outback illiterate hicks jump me .... TWICE!
And Steal my 500k! Seemingly with no repercussions, like they just got away with it.
Well let me tell you Outback Whiskey goofs a little secret. You ain't got away with SHIT!
Think you can blindside me, steal my money and live happily ever after, no way Jack! Ain't gonna happen.
And believe you me, i will get my money back!
Kyle Callaghan : How are you going to do that?
Soutter : I am not sure yet, but believe you me, i am working on it. Packer owes me a favor or two, i am sure we can work something out.
Kyle Callaghan : So you would call on favours, just for the Whiskey Outlaws?
Soutter : Its not just for them, its 500K! Five_Hundred_Large_Ones!
Stolen from me!
Now i know full well i could call the cops and these turkey's would be locked away for a very long time. But i also know that what happens in the ring, stays in the ring! Belive you me, it wont be Packer handing me any special treatment, he is a smart business man, and knows full well that you give the fans what they want.
Why do you think he teamed me and Pagan together in the first place?
Kyle Callaghan : Great segway, i was just about to bring that up. How do you think you and Pagan will be able to co-exist as a team, the man has had some very unflattering things to say about you.
Soutter : Unflattering? That guy is a mad man, he has been obsessed with me since the day he walked in the UWA doors all them years ago.
A very talented madman.
Look, i know what i said about him, i could come out here and justify it with this or that, but i am not going to.
I am a big enough man to admit i made a mistake, i accused him of being behind the attack and missing money. I_was_wrong.
Kyle Callaghan : Wow, thats very big of you Suit.
Soutter : Not really. I am big enough of a man to admit when i was wrong.
Mr Packer has decided to team us together against the Whiskey Outlaws. He doesn't want to team with me because he feels irked that i called him a "thief". I apologize for this. Now the ball is in his court.
But for the Whiskey Outlaws, with or without Pagan's help, they got me to worry about. And god help them!
Kyle Callaghan : Ha! That's the Suit we know and love! I sure wouldn't want to be in there shoes! Now, another thing i noticed going over at Mid Atlantic, is the new champion Jack Kross. You told him you would give him a shot at the 500 grand due to your promise from the Invitational, but apparently that wasn't good enough for him and he now wants to throw in the stipulation that the loser becomes "Slave" to the winner for a month.
Soutter : (chuckles) Ha! He sure does have a sack on him, I'll give him that much.
Listen up Kross.
I accept that stipulation!
But now that you are champ, it would look pretty stupid our champ also being a slave, so i guess the title is gonna have to be on the line as well.
Soutter chuckles again
You know Kyle, things may not be so bad after all. Coming up at Charlotte i get my hands on the Whiskey Outlaws, we got a turkey who wants to be my slave, and now a Heavyweight Title shot to boot!
I like it like that!
Fade
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Post by Soutter on Jun 23, 2007 23:43:42 GMT
Scene goes to the Packer Tron. A Mid Atlantic banner is shown, a shadow pacing back and forth to the side of the shot is shown on the banner. Its a large figure, a heavy set man, and the crowd begins to buzz seeing this big man's shadow pace to and fro.
The figure moves in front of the banner, and then continues pacing back and forth.
The figure is none other then the Big Bad Bustling Bandit himself, Mad Dog Paul Soutter.
The crowd pops big time seeing him on the Tron, he paces a couple more times then stops, staring into the camera for a few moments of deafening silence, staring a hole down the lense.
PAGAN!!
I have but one question for you.
If your career has been sooooo much more successful and your stables soooo much better then mine ... then why cant you get past the fact ... that i never wanted you?
Thats right.
I_never_wanted_YOU!
You can't get over it, you never_will.
You are a good wrestler, that goes without saying ... but i am one of the greats.
You and I, we just dont fit.
Thats why i never_wanted_you.
It was nothing personal, but you took it personal.
WHISKEY OUTLAWS!
How you turkey's managed to lay me out not once, but TWICE ... is beyond me. You meathead's cant even put two words together, how you managed to get one by The Suit is a mystery to me.
But as they say ... now is time to PAY THE PIPER!
You hicks have to step in the squared circle with the Suit!
The Centre of Attention!
The Big Bad Bustling Bandit!
The number ONE man in this industry today!
I got the Skill to Thrill!
The Name to Entertain!
I'm loud and proud!
I'm about to put a 500,000 beat down on two in bred illiterate hacks, teamed with an unstable psycho who doesn't even want to team with me ... and for some reason ... I LIKE IT LIKE THAT!!!
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Post by Soutter on Jun 23, 2007 23:44:12 GMT
We see The Suit, Mad Dog Paul Soutter standing in front of a Hardkore World Banner.
"GUTTERTRASH" TROY ADKINS .... JUN MAZUKI .... "NASTY" NED CHAMBERS
This is what has become of The Six Man Tag Team Championships.
Tag Team Wrestling in Hardkore World is as good as it has ever been.
We have teams like Black and Bryant.
Kyle and Rated X.
The Fists of Blood.
High Maintenance
Andrew Karnage and who ever the hell he feels like tagging with.
McNeely and Ruppy.
Ha Ha!
Suit bursts out into a self amused chuckle.
On the heels of the Frank, we got Tag Team Wrestling hitting a peak not seen in years.
And right up there in the mix of that is the House of Pain!
And who are we battling for the 6 Man belts ... Three thrown together tossers who combined couldn't keep up with either Kota or Myself.
Yeah, i said the same about the Star Gazers, that single handedly we could take the pair of em, and guess what, we could of, at the drop of a hat.
What are they anyway, i felt like i was wrestling The Great Silly and Little Tokyo.
So, i sit and i ask myself. With all this great tag team action going on, why is that we are wrestling such a crack pot assortment of curtain jerkers.
Adkins? Please. Wasn't he stripped of the Britain tag team titles.
Nasty Ned? Blindfolded i could beat him.
And Jun Mazuki. An Asian with a large Penis. There_is_no_such_thing.
Next he will be telling us he is a good driver as well.
[Yeah, Suits making fun of Asians, thats ok, we can make fun of all races, except for one. And yeah, Suit thought he would get the Narrator to speak. Shit, maybe he will get some hookers up in here with me and we can bicker about settings and how I became a narrator. It worked for the Sweet Mouth.]
Normally, after the events that took place in Sydney Australia, i would be all angry and heated right now.
Screaming and Yelling that Sly Fondell is a dead man, that if he steps foot near that ring in Portland he'll be taken out on a stretcher. That no one puts there hands on The Suit!
And all this will happen by the way.
Fondell_is a dead man.
The next time our paths cross, one of us will walk away.
But seeing as though we got such little opposition this month for these belts. I am not as fussed as i might be otherwise.
Jonnie! I have spoken with Packer and Kota, we all know what he did in Sydney and we all Agree!
Fondell is out of the HoP! And out of this Match!
Packer is taking his place, considering our so called opposition, i am sure he will more then hold his own.
But if you think once we win these belts we will go on defending them against whoever you randomly put together to take us on each month, forget it.
Here's what i propose.
Next show ... its HoP vs AssasinNation.
Tag Titles and 6 man belts merged, and then the Kota and I can go about becoming the greatest Tag Team in Hardkore World!
Our eye is on the prize, we are fully committed to our tag team, and no one here in Hardkore World can stop us. Not even our former member Sly Fondell ... and i like it like that!
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Post by Soutter on Jun 23, 2007 23:44:41 GMT
Scene switches to the back car park where we see a trailer house, its new and has the Whiskey Outlaws air brush painted onto the side. The shot then pans out and we see hovering above the Trailer a huge crane with a big round demolition ball.
The shot pans around more to the cockpit of the crane, and who is behind the wheel, none other then the Big Bad Bustling Bandit, Mad Dog Paul Soutter.
He lets out a maniacal laugh, then pushes a lever that sends the big ball crashing into the roof of the trailer, he lifts the lever up and down again, the ball going up and crashing down into the trailerhome a second time.
Webber : Holy Hell! Suit has just trashed the Whiskey Outlaws new home! I hope there wasn't anyone in there!
Heidi : They had it coming Warren, they stole his money and thought they were going to get away with it ... big mistake!
Suit jumps down from the crane and grabs a can of fuel which was placed beside the crane ... he makes his way over to the trailer and starts dousing it with petrol ... he moves away in front of the home and then flicks open a lighter, dropping it in a trail of fuel which ignites in and runs along to the home, setting it ablaze in seconds.
Suit then stands in front of the home, facing the camera ... the flames dancing in the background.
Soutter : Whiskey Outlaws!
You think you can steal from the Suit and get away with it?
You think you can spend MY money on crap like this and there be no repercussions?
Think again!
Tonight it ends!
Your run is over!
With or without Pagan ... i am taking you punks out!
I am the Suit!
The Centre of Attention!
The Big Bad Bustling Bandit!
Mad Dog Paul Soutter!
THE number ONE man in this industry!
I got the Skill to Thrill!
The Name to Entertain!
I'm loud and proud!
I'm about to beat two redneck jibs three ways from Sunday ... take 500K out of your ass!
Then its finally done with you clowns, and onto the Southern Heavyweight Championship and making Jack Kross my slave!
And i like it like that!
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Post by Soutter on Jun 23, 2007 23:45:08 GMT
Scene opens up with a man diving down the US Interstate-75, he is wearing a Hardkore world t-shirt, and has the radio tuned in to 316. Listening as he drives along.
Kyle Callaghan : Yo Yo YO! This is DJ Kyle Callaghan, and your listening to Wrestle Radio ... 316 on your FM dial. Joining me in the studios tonight is the Big Bad Bustling Bandit, Mad Dog Paul Soutter. Always a pleasure Suit.
Soutter : Wish i could say the same. Nah, you know i love ya Kyle, you are like a son to me my boy.
Suit ruffles Kyle's hair, its radio though, so that cant be seen, all we hear is the muffling of Kyle's headpeice as Suit bullies him.
Kyle Callaghan : Always the kidder, at least out of the ring, but not as of late down in the South as i have been watching. Your battle with the Whiskey Outaws really seems to be getting under your skin, them two giving you a bit more trouble then you first bargained for.
Soutter : Two on one is always going to be hard, even for the best of us. Add Pagan to the mix, and you have a recipe for disaster.
Kyle Callaghan : So, you weren't happy to be teamed up with him?
Soutter : Who would be? The guys a walking head case. If it wasn't for the Outlaws, i would have dropped him on his head long ago. Look, its like this. A few months ago, i decided to try and make things interesting around here. We had a big match set with the winner to collect 500k. I thought to myself that i would double that prize money, out of my own kick, to anyone who could defeat me.
Then these two goons jump me and steal the money. Who was it, i didn't know, all i knew was i was knocked out and robbed, next thing i come to and my 'old friend' Pagan is running around the fed. I put two and two together and figured he was involved.
Kyle Callaghan : And he seemed to take exception to that.
Soutter : Well, thats fair enough, turns out it wasn't him, but the Whiskey Outlaws, i apologised, but he didn't want to hear it. What more does he want?
Kyle Callaghan : I don't know, but like you said, you were wrong, and .......
Soutter : Yeah, yeah. I was wrong. I got it ... and now he's gonna get it! That hump has been making my life a living hell ever since. Frankly, I'm sick of it. He made his choice, and now he has to deal with it.
Kyle Callaghan : What about the Whiskey Outlaws ... you demolished there mobil home in Atlanta ... that was a wild scene.
Soutter : Turkey's think they can mess with the Suit, steal my money, and there be no repercussions .... i_don't_think_so!
Kyle Callaghan : I noticed that Pagan also assaulted Packer in Atlanta, any thoughts on that?
Soutter : Yeah, I'd like to thank him.
Kyle Callaghan : Thank him? Why?
Soutter : Well, Packer seemed obsessed with teaming the two of us up, now though, he wants him as bad as i do, and that bodes well for me. You tell me Kyle, if you ran a fed, and wanted someone to pay, who would you put them up against .... let me answer that for you ... you'd put them up against ME!
The Big Bad Bustling Bandit!
The Number ONE man in this industry today!
The Centre of Attention!
Master of the Powerslam!
The Suit!
Mad Dog Paul Soutter!
I got the Skill to Thrill!
The Name to Entertain!
I'm loud and proud!
I'm about to cave in one of my oldest rival's skulls, in Pagan, and believe you me, i will cave his skull. Whiskey Outlaws wanna show up ... come on down ... I'll demo all three of ya!
And I like it like that!!!
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Post by Soutter on Jun 23, 2007 23:45:38 GMT
Scene opens up to show former UCW and OCW and ICW, and who knows how many other feds this yes man has appeared in, interviewer extraodinaire, Tye Gibson. Gibson is seated in front of a HW South banner in an expensive designer suit. He looks good, real good. Better then we remember him ever looking, botox is what I'm thinking.
Tye Gibson : Greetings Hardkore World. Some of you may remember me, many of you will of never heard of me. I am Tye Gibson, and i am your newest Hardkore World reporter. My first assignment here in Hardkore World, well, they don't come any bigger, literally, he is none other then The Suit! Mad Dog Paul Soutter!
Rip it Up hits and Suit strolls out onto the set, wearing his customary Hawaiian Shirt over the top of a HW South t-shirt.
Tye Gibson : Soutter! Good to see you again my friend, and thanks for this interview ...
Soutter stares at Tye blankly, waiting for more.
Tye Gibson : While i may of been of the air for a long while, i have still followed the sport religiously, you sir seem to keep getting better and better.
Soutter sits there, nodding his head at Tye's praise, but still, says nothing.
Tye Gibson : (starting to look a little uncomfortable) ...So ... The South is coming along nicely, how are you enjoying it here?
Soutter : Its good.
Suit then looks back to Tye, Tye is now looking nervous, Suit is selling as much for him in this interview as Brody did for Luger in that cage match.
Tye Gibson : I listened in on your Wrestle Radio interview, and must say you made some great points ....
Soutter : Such as?
Tye Gibson : (spluttering at being put on the spot, this interview isn't going how he had prepared at all, Suit is giving him absolutely nothing) ... Well ... you know ... about The Whiskey Outlaws and Pagan and that.
Soutter : .............
Nothing, Suit just sits there giving Tye a empty look.
Tye Gibson : Right O. Speaking of, you have a big match coming up with Pagan this month .... what are your thoughts on that?
Soutter : My thoughts? Ok, here's my thoughts Tye. You tell me. How do you think this interview is going?
Tye Gibson : Ummmm ..... very good.
Soutter : Very good? Its horrid! I have given you nothing! How are you meant to interview me when i am not working with you?
You cant? Thats how this "big" match with Pagan is shaping up. A non event.
Tye Gibson : Ohhhh ... so thats what you were doing! Ha ha. (Tye has an uneasy chuckle) ... here i was thinking you were ribbing me or something.
Soutter : Why would i bother to waste my time ribbing you? I wouldn't Tye. It would serve me no purpose what so ever. I can humiliate the likes of you and Jack Kross at the drop of a hat, at my whim. It would be like taking candy from a baby. Or, a title from a Kross.
Tye Gibson : (trying to pretend he wasn't just insulted) ... Jack Kross ... what are your thoughts on him?
Soutter : That he will be my slave and lose the belt to me the day that Packer gives me the match. Which better be bloody soon! He is all too happy to put me up against Pagan when he wants the man to hurt. How about a little receipt Reg? I scratch your back, you scratch mine.
Tye Gibson : What are you proposing?
Soutter : What everyone in the whole South wants to see. Me caving in the skull of Pagan and The Whiskey Outlaws ... finish them off for good, once and for all. And the its Title time baby! The Suit has a hunger ... pun intended ... A hunger only gold can satisfy.
Tye Gibson : Really, i always thought it wasn't about titles for you Suit ...
Soutter : Its not_about titles per say Tye. I know i dont need one. I know i dont need IT!
But ... It needs ME Tye.
The belt NEEDS ME!
Tye Gibson : Getting back to Pagan, you said he was giving you nothing ... care to elaborate?
Soutter : You know it! Here's the thing about Pagan. He craves attention. He craves the limelight. He craves RESPECT!
But he has none. He has no respect from his peers.
And this match is a perfect example of why.
Here was his chance, to go toe to toe with the best in the business. Show the world what he was made of. And what does he do ... cocksucker goes into hiding.
What, are you to good to face me?
You would rather go off and start from scratch again elsewhere? How are you meant to ever accomplish anything, if the first sign of something going wrong, you take your bat and ball and go home.
Thats the kind of person he is.
Thats the kind of person he will always be, literally going back to his child hood when i have no doubt he often took his bat and ball and went home when things didn't go his way.
Thats why he has no respect from his peers.
Thats why he never will have any respect from his peers.
Because he has no balls!
And he has no back bone!
No conviction.
He says one thing, when we all know he will do another.
The meds run out and he goes loco.
Well, i am sick of it.
I am sick of catering to his insecurities and mood swings like he was a god damn women.
Come June Jam, i am going to beat him within an inch of his life.
And i just hope to god that the Whiskey Outlaws turn up, because i am going to finish there miserable stinking careers as well! AND I LIKE IT LIKE THAT!
Tye Gibson : Wow! Thats not quite what i was expecting .... fans ... unfortunately, thats all we have time for today .... until next time ... I'm Tye Gibson, and your tuned into Hardkore World TV!
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Post by Soutter on Jun 23, 2007 23:46:10 GMT
Rip it up by 28 Days hits and The Suit, Mad Dog Paul Soutter makes his way down to ring side. The fans jump to there feet and he slaps some hands on his way to the ring. He uses his weight to push down the top rope and steps over it, then moves to the centre of ring, looks up at the cage above him and just stands there ... looking up at the cage.
Soutter : (after a good few moments of staring up at the cage) .... Tonight ... in this steel cage above ... i promise to each and every one of you here ... that i will put an end to Pagan and the Whiskey Outlaws once and for all.
Never again will we see them.
Never again will we have to put up with there mood swings.
Never again ... will they_sidetrack the career of_The Suit!
This man Pagan has been a thorn in my side for years now.
Always promising the world and delivering_Jack_Shit!
SWEET FUCK ALL!
Look at me!
The best in the business!
And instead of selling out arena's around the South and taking this promotion forward ... here i have been for months in a program with him and the freaken Whiskey Outlaws.
Meanwhile, chumps like Jack Kross, Ned Chambers and Tong Fairtex run around fighting over our main belt.
We all know i can beat every single one of them.
Why, Jack Kross even had the balls to challenge me ... Me!
The Big bad Bustling Bandit!
And not only challenge me ... he proposed the loser become the others slave!
Do you believe that?
He actually thinks he is on my level.
Worse then that .. he honesty thinks he can take me.
I got news for him ... and i got news for all you!
After tonight ... Pagan and the Whiskey Outlaws will be no more here in The South ... i am going to see to that myself.
Someone questioned why Pagan wasn't suspended for what he did to Packer.
Well ... Duh!
If you were in Packers situation ... what would you do ... suspend him ... or sick The Suit on him!
................. Exactly!
Pagan!
You must be the most High Maintenance .... conspiracy theory world is against me person i have ever come across.
You do it everytime!
Flip out over the most insubstantial ... inconsequential things there are.
Then what do you do.
You take off and go start again elsewhere.
Well good Fucken Riddance!
I'm more then happy to send you on your way.
Then i will be free.
Free of your clinging to me ... crying why you weren't invited into the Bandits for all them years.
You weren't invited for one single reason.
You_weren't_Bandit_material!
Never were. Never will be.
You think you are some hot shit.
Im afraid not.
You have no respect.
And you have no one to thank for it but yourself.
After tonight you will blame everyone else for your downfall here in the South.
When the only one to blame is yourself.
If it makes you happy though, after our match ... you can blame me!
Because i am going to be the one caving your skull!
I am the The Big Bad Bustling Bandit!
The Master of the Powerslam!
The Centre of Attention!
The Suit!
Mad Dog Paul Soutter!
I got the Skill to Thrill!
The name to entertain!
I'm loud and Proud Baby!
I'm about to lift the dead weight from shoulders and take this region places no one else could!
And i like it like that!!
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Post by Soutter on Jun 23, 2007 23:46:50 GMT
Scene opens to the Penthouse suite of the Portland Hilton. There is half naked women running around every where playing volleyball in the living room with a blow up ball. Kota sits eyeing the lovely lasses as Suit and Legacy pop a cork and shower the big man
Legacy: AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We did it ... We did it Suit ... we took the gold and brought it home baby!!!
Soutter has a skull of champagne and then pours the rest of the bottle down the top of one of the girls.
Kota: As we fortold ... the future would hold for us ... victory. And with victory ... comes the trophies of the kil l....
Soutter: Huh? Say again?
Legacy: The big man just said we whipped some ass!!!!!!!
As if on que there is a loud crack of a whip heard, the shot pans over to see a hot red head in leather swinging the whip around wildly ... Packer there with a startled yet excited look on his face.
Packer: Mr Jun was a bit lucky on this night ... lucky that his belt is ALL he left without ... heh!! ... WOW ... That was intresting!!
Kota approaches with caution and seeks to protect his manager
Kota: The assault by leather on human flesh can have dire consequences ... miss ... please stand down from Mr Packer at once!!
Soutter : Easy big boy ... it hurts ... but it hurts good ... especially when they make you feel better afterwards.
Packer: Uhh ... its cool big man ... I got this ... really. But thanks all the same.
Legacy: Damn ... we gotta get Kota laid ... soon ... HAHA!!
Kota: I do not understand, what is this Laying Legacy speaks of? Why would Kota lay? Im am not tired.
Legacy: Holy ... Kota, youre the fuckin man ... I love ya bud!!
Soutter: Here big man ... have another drink ... relax ... lets party!!
Soutter : What you think Kota? Suit waves his hand at the girls playing volleyball .... take yor pick ... do with them whatever you will ... hurt them if you must ... but dont beak anything ... that costs extra.
Kota:a confused look Cost? We must purchase these ladies? We will take ownership of them ... this is correct?
Legacy:As booze shoots from his nose.. Is he fuckin kiddin?
Soutter : Just for the night! We got em for the night, then we leave town ... so whatever you do ... don't fall in love with one of them!!
Kota strolls over next to one of the redheads and smiles
Kota: Hello ... Kota is a native of a peaceful tribe..however when physicallity is the order of the day, Kota can ... how you say ... Roll with the best of them. You would wish to Roll Kota..yes?
Legacy: My God ... somebody get the camcorder ... this shit is priceless!!
Redhead: Uhh ... yeah baby ... whatever your hunk of man heart desires ... your name is sexy!!
Soutter : Go KOTA! Prize of the kill indeed!! Suit grabs a beer and shotguns it down.
Legacy: showering the room with champagne.....HW SIX MAN CHAMPIONS BABYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!
Another crack is heard as Packer is seen on bended knees ... the dominatrix standing over him with a stern look. He is obviously drunk off his ass
Soutter: Thats right Legs ... who needs Fondell ... we showed that Rube ... he can have his little Legion faction ... we are the damn House of Pain! These titles here represent us as THE number one faction in Hardkore World!!
Packer:his speech stammered by the fact hes probably one more shot away from being snoggered But ... Ill be a good b-b-boy ... I swear ... just if I can touch that ..
Kota is still entranced with his redheaded friend
Kota: Did you know Kota once bit the head of a live foul off its body? The crimson that covered his teeth was quite gruesome.
Redhead: You bit a freakin chickens head off? Why the hell...
Kota: Hunger engulfed the inners of Kota..live Foul is a favorite dish of my people.
Rehead: Dont ya at least strangle em to break their necks honey?
Kota:with a look of shock Oh no ... Kota was raised to NEVER choke his chicken ... this would be violent and inhumane.
Soutter : Come on honey ... your not chicken are you? You got nothing to worry about ... get that sexy ass in there allready and show the man a good time!
Kota eyes the vixen as she twirls around his massive frame. Meanwhile Packer is still busy with his own situation
Packer: And then Flare had Legacy here call her Mommy, Flare's his dad ya see ... that Angel chick was some kinda freak ... heh!!
Legacy: Jesus Pack!! Ease up on the childhood stories of mine ... ok? Christ ... a couple of stiff shots and you run that fuckin yap til the cows come home.
Soutter : Careful ... you say her name and she suddenly appears to be the saviouor ... then dissapears again just as quickly ... kind of reminds me of a certain fruitcake we have beaten senseless countless times allready. What a perfect couple they would make.
Legacy: Yep..frick and frack!!!
Soutter : Speaking of fruitcakes ... you guys hear who we got for our first defense ... check this out ... The House of Love..
Kota..obviously with a buzz of his own: The women of Kotas tribe had those as well ... but theirs werent quite as round as yours ... and they came much closer to touching their knees ... what is YOUR secret?
Redhead: Cillicone baby!!
Kota: Cllilli ... Cicca ... Clliliiclone .... Im sorry ... Kota has not yet mastered your language.
Legacy: Heh ... ya aint mastered that rum yet either ... HAVE ya?
Packer:Still talking about everybodies favorite Florida blowup doll yep ... she tried to be on some kinda tuff enough ... but ... the only thing tough about her was gettin her to say No ... HAHAHAHA!!!!
A sudden loud squeal cuts through the room as Kota is spotted trying to put the redheads right tit in his mouth and bite
Packer: W-W-what the Fuhuck are you d-doing Kot-Kota?
Soutter : Whats the problem here toots?
Redhead : He just tried to bite my fuckin tit!
Kota: A traditional mating technique is for the male to leave an imprint of his teeth on his woman!!
Soutter : Yeah ... don't mess with his traditions ... you do what he says ... got it!
Legacy: talking to the blonde honey ... Yeah ... Dad even had her spank him and make HIM call her Mommy ... I tell ya ... those Florida bitches ... theyre ALL wayyyy fucked up.
Kota: Kota has done wrong ... no?
Redhead: Wrong? Ya bit my fuckin tit you cannibal!!
Packer makes a run towards the outdoor pool
Packer: CANNONBALL!!
He jumps high in the air and into the pool ... still dressed in his suit
Soutter : So Legs ... is your old man still keeping Viagra in business single handedly or what?
Legacy: No ... Pack ... she said Cannibal ... get outta the Goddamned pool ... shit ... you ruin more tuxes ... huh? Say again Fat man? Ahh ... fuck it ... the old man chases skirts like a dog after the mailman
Soutter :walks over and grabs the beach ball And thats game ladies ... come with me!!
Soutter walks three ladies into the room under his arm
Soutter :over his shoulder to the rest of the HoP ... I like it like that!
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Post by Soutter on Jul 13, 2007 0:14:36 GMT
Scene opens up with The Big Bad Bustling Bandit, The Master of the Powerslam, Mad Dog Paul Soutter. He is wearing one of his pattened Hawaiian shirts over the top of a HoP t-shirt and standing in front of a Hardkore World banner in the back of the Key Arena, with one of the Hardkore World Six man belts on his shoulder.
Soutter : In just a few moments, The House of Pain go into battle with the House of Love.
Love's a bitch, Pain will prevail.
Do you think we have these titles because there is no one else to wear them?
NO!
We have them because we are the best!
We will defend them against all comers. The Assassination, Legion X (Soutter snarls), The entire Shiro family tree (Soutter mock shudders), The Un-Stable (Soutter scoffs). Hell even these half wits the House of Love.
We are the House of Pain. The most dangerous force ever assembled. We have the Hawaiian Horror, the Savage himself, Kota. This man is a killing machine, unstoppable in that sacred ground known as a Hardkore ring.
Shot of Kota with a live chicken squirming in his mouth, feathers flying and blood running down his chin.
We have second generation star, and toughest bastard i have ever met, Legacy. This man is strong as an Ox, raised and trained by you_know_who. He's seen it all, and he is going to do it all. Right now, no one in Hardkore World is hotter then this man, NO_ONE!
Shot of Legacy surrounded by half naked women in the Portland Hilton penthouse suite.
We have the brains and the money ... the smoothest and smartest man in the business ... Reginald P Packer. He can see things coming like a chess player, ten moves ahead. Think you have us where you want us, doubt it, odds are Packers allready seen it coming 2 weeks ago and we have prepared for that eventuality.
Shot of Packer decked out in an expensive business suit, a chessy smile on his face.
And then we have .... me!
The Big Bad Bustling Bandit!
The Centre of Attention!
Master of The Powerslam!
Number ONE man in this industry!
Mad Dog Paul Soutter!
I got the name to entertain!
The skill to thrill!
Im loud and proud!
We just had the party of the year at the Paris Hilton, and that turkey Phil Blauer thinks it was Syberus and whoever he has conned into walking behind him this month. Shit Phil, how_could_you. I know you have a hard on for that walking worm, but come on. If he were to throw a party, there would be fairy bread, and various varieties of soda, there would be young ring rats who dont look 18 with no tits, the freaking Go Goo dolls playng all night and the whole night would be filled with him crying about how he had to lose to the Sweet Mouth only for the Sweet Mouth to do what he does. Win the big one and vanish off the face of the earth.
So what does he do ... runs off to some shit hole to become there World Champ, in less then a month. Wow. (sarcasm pouring from the voice of the Suit) That must be some sort of accomplishment.
We are about to go out and beat the living snot out of the House of Love ... Blow them out the water!
And i like it like that!
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Post by Soutter on Aug 8, 2007 8:35:40 GMT
We see a middle aged woman, over dressed with too much jewellery on, Mutton dressed up as lamb, she is a coming out of the gas station with all the weekly womans magazines under her arm, all the latest news on Britney, Tom Cruise and the rest of your Hollywood celebs.
She gets back in her car, the passenger side and lites a smoke, flicking thru the mags as her husband drives off, as she flicks thru each mag, a headline on one of them catches her young son's eye in the back seat. The headline reads .... Hardkore Wrestler Heartache! My Secret Battle! The Suit checks into Rehab!
The son begs for a look at the mag, to see what its about, the mother rolling her eyes at 'that wrestling stuff', tossing it back to him.
The kid flicks thru to find the story, comes across a two page spread with a pic of The Big Bad Bustling Bandit, Mad Dog Paul Soutter. The story reads as follows ............
My Secret Battle
Most know him as the loveable wrestler Paul Soutter, the man who goes out there and gives his all for the crowd each and every week. But for this Hardkore World superstar, there is a dark and deep secret which has ended with House of Pain member and co holder of the 6 man tag team championships checking into rehab for an extended stay. We caught up with self proclaimed "Centre of Attention" for this exclusive interview.
EWW Mag : Thank you for joining us Paul, and thank you for agreeing to share your problems with us.
Soutter : Its a big step in rehabilitation, to come clean to the world.
EWW Mag : How long have you had the problem, and what exactly IS your problem.
Soutter : Well, it all goes back to high school. I would see all the pretty girls, and just like all the other guys, i would take a fancy to them, but i was a chubby kid, and never stood a chance. All i wanted to do, was get laid, what kid doesn't. So, i did what i thought anyone would do, i turned to prostitution. No, not myself, who would pay me for it, but yes, i paid_money_for_sex.
EWW Mag : Well, as unsavoury as they may sound, there is nothing illegal about that, apart from your age at the time, but how could one little trip to the lucky shop end you up into rehab 20 years later?
Soutter : That one little trip was the beginning of the end. I loved it, and had to go, again and again and again. And again!
EWW Mag : I cant imagine that would be very cheap, where on earth would a teenage boy find the money to live that sort of lifestyle.
Soutter : I stole it, from my parents wallets, family friends, you would be surprised how much money people leave lying around, im not proud of it, but i had to have it!
EWW Mag : Ok. Lets fast forward to today, your a world famous wrestler, make loads of money, women must flock to you.
Soutter : And therein lies the problem. Do you have any idea what life is like on the road? Its one recurring day after another. You arrive in town mid day. Go work out at the gym, hit the arena for the nights show. After that, its time to unwind, your on a high from your match and cant just go back to an empty motel room. You go to a bar, and all the hotshots in there want to test themselves against the big tough wrestler. So you venture to the local titty bar. Sure, you get a few looks of recognition, as you are getting ushered thru to the VIP room. Ahhh, the VIP room. What a place. A place where young boys fantasy's come true.
EWW Mag : It sounds to me like you think fondly of the places and lifestyle, why then are you in rehab and talking with us today.
Soutter : Don't get me wrong, for ten years, i thought i had the best life in the world, but then what happens when its time to go home. To look your wife and 2 kids in the eye. The people who love you more then anyone in the world, and who depend on you to go out and earn a living for them, when the entire time, you are out having group orgies with beautiful women. Multiple beautiful women.
EWW Mag : Now it is starting to make sense. But the way i see it, you have a choice, why should we pity you, you are the one who makes these decisions for himself.
Soutter : I never asked for anyone's pity. You came to me asking for a story, and i agreed. I know i am to blame for the problems in my life. That fact is, i cant hold down a steady relationship, i see my family three or four times a year, and when we do see each other, all we do is fight. She has left me countless times, and only comes back for the kids. I dont like what i have done to them, it sickens me, and thats why i am here, to try and change. Try and better myself.
EWW Mag : So, you are here to tell the world your problem, and hope then after facing it, that you can move on with it.
Soutter : Thats half the battle, accepting and admitting you have a problem. My name is Paul Soutter, and i am addicted to sex. Sex with beautiful hot naked strippers and prostitutes, the more at a time the better. I-Love_Hookers!
EWW Mag : And how does that make you feel to say that.
Soutter : Honestly, horny. Ha, but do you see me cutting the interview short, checking out of here and headed to the red light district? No, because i am making progress.
EWW Mag : Thats great to hear. What else have you learned while in here. Do you have any other problem.
Soutter : I have many, which all come back to my job, funnily enough. One thing you get in here is time, time to reflect and think. This time has made me realize that being a co holder of the 6 man belts equals facing random groups of no names teamed together for no reason month after month after month.
EWW Mag : And what do you propose to do about that?
Soutter : I gotta make things happen for myself. My destiny is in my own hands. I have seen and done it all in this business, all but become the World Heavyweight Champion of Hardkore World. Until i achieve that goal, i will not be satisfied, and once i achieve it, i will not become so satisfied with myself that i up and disappear like "Mr i have reached the mountain top and have no place left to go Cobryn".
EWW Mag : So, you want to be the World Champion?
Soutter : Not want to, NEED to. It drives me, each and every day.
EWW Mag : And if you had to make a choice, to be cured and live a normal life with your family, or to one day become the Champion of the World?
Soutter : There would be no choice at all.
EWW Mag : I think if your doctor would hear that, he would think your rehabilitation is just about complete.
Soutter : Think again. Each and every night in this dump i dream of all the hot hoes i have humped. The only thing i long for more is to be the Champ.
EWW Mag : Well if that is the case, what the hell are you even doing here, and why are you speaking with me?
Soutter : Well, i THOUGHT i wanted to be a family man, but after speaking with you and really thinking, it as all so clear to me now. Thank you so much, you have really been a great help. Now i know where my life is headed, and can move forward.
EWW Mag : Hmmm ... i ... i really dont know what to say.
Soutter : I do .... how about a drink?
EWW Mag : I_dont_think_so.
Soutter : Your loss.
I am Big Bad Bustling Bandit!
The Suit!
The Centre of Attention!
Master of the Powerslam!
Number ONE man in this business today!
Mad Dog Paul Soutter!
I got the Skill to Thrill!
The name to entertain!
I'm loud and proud!
I just cured myself from rehab and are on a path to the Heavyweight Championship of the WORLD ... and i like it like that!
Scene fads with the young boy staring out the window, a huge smile on his face imagining what it would be like in the VIP room of a strip club.
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Post by Soutter on Aug 9, 2007 7:00:32 GMT
We see the Suit, Mad Dog Paul Soutter standing front of a Hardkore World banner and draped in a Australian flag.
The Rick Owen Tribute.
Hardkore Australia Vs Hardkore South.
This is what its all about for me. Each and every time i step in that squared circle, i give my all, my very best. Every time. Without_fail.
Once before i have had to step up and fight for my federation, against them cronies Legion X back at SWAT. They threw everything they had at me, and for a while, i was a beaten man. But i never gave up. I never gave in. And in the end, i prevailed over them. I assembled the best team i could find, men that were true to my cause and believed in me and my federation. And together, we entered the War Games and we left Legion X for dead.
Now, once again. I enter the ring to fight for my federation ... but this time its a little different.
This time i am not going up against bitter hated rivals.
This time, i am going into battle with a man i have known since he was about this high.
Suit points to his hip.
A young man i have watched grow into one of the top stars today. This young mans father and myself were trail blazers in this industry, we started together at the bottom of the barrel, and we built an empire! Others have come and gone, but we are still here today.
It will be an honor for me to step in the ring not only representing my country and my fed, but against the son of my oldest friend in this business, a man who has indeed become a friend himself, and co holder of the 6 man tag team titles with yours truly.
That young man is Legacy.
Now Legacy, i am not going to come out here and scream and yell, and tell you how i am going to do this and that to you, because i am so_much _greater then you.
No, but believe you me. When we meet in the ring, there are no friends. I will gladly shake your hand before AND after the match, whoever may get there arm raised. But inbetween bells, you may as well be any other turkey to me in there, this is for Australia! This is for the Rick Owen Tribute! The stakes are too high.
You my young friend are on the roll of your life. These last few months, you have claimed some of the most prized scalps in the business. Levi Watts, Sly Fondell, James Fierce. Not to mention claiming on of these.
Suit pats his 6 man tag team belt which is slung over his shoulder.
And as good as all of them scalps are, none of them ... not_a_single_one! Can hold a candle to me!
I am The Big Bad Bustling Bandit
The Centre of Attention!
Master of the Powerslam.
The Suit!
Mad Dog Paul Soutter!
Number ONE man in this industry today!
I got the skill to thrill!
The name to entertain.
I'm loud and proud, about to bring home the bacon for the homeland in the Rick Owen Tribute against my young protege' .... and i like it like that!
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Post by Soutter on Aug 19, 2007 9:09:43 GMT
We see The Suit, Paul Soutter. Standing in front of a Hardkore World banner wearing a Hawaiian Shirt over the top of a House of Pain t-shirt, he is about to make a vignette, when Matt Boone approaches.
Matt Boone : Suit! Glad i caught ya, did you hear what Syberus said about you down in Canada?
Soutter : No, i didn't, but Im sure your gonna be just the person to stooge him off.
Boone : I wouldn't put it that way, ahhh, who am i kidding, you know i am dying to give the scoop ...
Soutter : So its a scoop now is it.
Boone : (blurts it out without taking a breathe) He said that you were the least respected booker in the history of the sport.
Soutter : Is that a fact.
Suit contemplates for a moment. Boone looking around awkwardly.
Soutter : Is that all he said? (answering his own question) Of course not, this is Syberus we are talking about. The man talks as much as a women ... hmmm .... interesting coincidence ... or something else ...... (to the camera) ... I'll let you at home be the judge.
Soutter notices Boone is still standing there.
Soutter : Are you still here. Beat it.
Boone : Sorry?
Soutter : You will be. I said hit the bricks. I don't like the things you say about me when you interview Rated X. Think its real funny dont ya, well how funny would it be if i ripped them undies of yours up over your head with an atomic wedgie and made you say all sorts of humiliating things about Rated X. If i made you tell us about what he does to you once the camera's are turned off.
A tear wells up in Boone's eye.
Soutter : BEAT_IT!
Boone runs for it and Suit turns back to the camera.
Soutter : So, gods gift to booking thinks i am the least respected booker in the history of the sport. Thats a pretty big statement. Considering some of the people who have booked in the past. No, when you come down to it, its really quite outrageous, and absurd. Doesn't surprise me though.
Coming from a worm like him.
You think you have so much heat, dont you worm. Well, yeah, you do have heat. But its not the kind of heat you think you have. Most people with heat, they have it because they are good at what they do, others aspire to there levels, and thus the heat for them comes. Then there is you. You have what is commonly referred to, as X_Pac heat. People dont love to hate you, they just_hate_you. You are the most annoying irritating spammer the business has seen.
Worst booker?
Ha.
Sorry if when you decide to grace us with your presence, we dont drop all of our plans, our programs and stories and feuds which you know, hook the viewers in, and throw title match after title match at you, because you can cut 13 promo's in a three day span.
That isn't what this game is about, and if i have anything to do with it, never will be.
Sure, i could sit back and randomly put members up against each other in matches that mean absolutely nothing and "hope to god" that the guy who cuts the most promo's wins. No stories, who cares, no direction, whats_direction, this is wrestling, we can just get people to turn on each other, ad naseum. For an example of this, see Hardkore World circa 2006. The hand holding family tree is a hard one to follow, but most of it revolves around a bunch of prima donna's who couldn't run a program to save there life. The same guys Syberus cries in bed at night over wondering why no matter hard he tries, and no matter how many promo's he cuts, and zingers he "TAGS" himself with, he just cant get the respect that they got. I'll tell you the difference between them and you.
They were great. They we naturals. They got in the ring, and it was a joy to watch. You, its like running your fingers down a chalk board. Your like the kid in school who is always the third last picked. Better then the last two, but up with the top players? Fuck_no! Goes home and tells mum how he is the best player and shuold be champion, i mean captain. And who is it who wins the game for the team? 9 times out of ten, if your top 5 players aren't good enough, neither is the team!
You, ohhh delusional Great Syberus, just aren't good_enough.
You will never draw money in this business. For several reasons, the main being, you think to highly of yourself. I have said it before, and I'll say it again, you are a good wrestler. But thats it, just_good. Your the top of the bottom, but when you move up, the bottom of the top.
Suit is really fuming now.
Worst booking in history? Try taking a look in the mirror you f'n hump.
Goofy Syberus impression
Hello, Suit, can you PLEASE, ohhhh Please join my region. If only for a tour, come on.
(Back to normal voice) Well, what you got in mind?
(back to extremely irritating Syberus voice) Well! How about i randomly team you with different partners in tag matches each week!!!!~!
(Soutter voice ... actually, Suit was stunned with this and just stared blankly into the phone he was on at the time ... but Syberus picked up on the hesitation, hell, how couldn't he, it was the longest pause in a conversation he had ever been involved in, because normally he doesn't stop flapping his gums long enough for there to be a pause ... so we go back to irritating Syb voice again) They will be_title_matches!
Soutter : (now to the camera) ... Title matches! Wow! I could win a Britain title and defend it with a random partner against random opponents randomly teamed together ... kind of like the crap i have to face here in America month after month after month now that i have this ... (points to the HW Six man strap on his shoulder) .... yeah ... wow Syb ... your a real wiz at this booking stuff.
As for my upcoming opponents .... who are my upcoming opponents? Its not important really is it, Boone would stand as much chance as them turkeys against the might of the House of Pain.
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