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Post by Soutter on Jun 16, 2007 0:54:41 GMT
UCW Vs El Rico!
[The scene opens up to show a man in his mid to late 20's driving down a suburban street. He is unshaven and takes a left, then turns the radio up.]
Kyle Callaghan : Yo yo yo! This is DJ Kyle Callaghan and your tuned into Wrestle Radio 316 on your FM dial. We got a very special guest for you today, none other than The Centre of Attention, The Big Bad Bustling Bandit, Soutter!, How you going big guy?
Soutter : Couldn't be better Kyle!
Great to hear, let me tell you, i got a lot of questions for you, seems things have really been shaken up in the wrestling world, tell us, why?
Why! I'll tell you why, see, what you dont understand is that i am wrestler, first and foremost, look at me Kyle, i am an animal, unstoppable, i belong in the ring, breaking bones and squashing dreams, not in some office listening to all of these so called superstars bitch and moan!
Please, continue.
I would if you would stop interrupting me. As i was saying, i dont have time for all the politics that go with being a fed head, i belong in the ring, thats why i have resigned from my position in the IWA to come down here to UCW and get back in the ring, back where i am most comfortable, back WHERE I BELONG!
Well if that is the case, then why have you opened another fed, in Australia, and why not join the IWA as a wrestler, instead of UCW?
I'll tell you why, i need a break from the IWA, dont worry, them turkey's will get there's, all in good time, but for now, i am here in UCW, and thats that. As for the fed in Australia, that is neither here or there, i have purchased the CWA, and its only a part time gig, really, i am only an investor over there, which suits me just fine, as i will be able to focus all of my attention in UCW.
But why UCW? All them other feds around there you could of chosen, why the UCW?
I'll tell why, thats simple, Packer saw i was a free agent, and he knew his fed was going down the tubes, they had just been booted of there tv station, and he knew he needed something, and fast, so he offered me a big wad of cash to come here and save his Federation, and here i am!
Fair enough. Now, onto your new fed, what do you think of ............
I think they are pretty pathetic, but thats neither here or there, them guys dont measure up to me, but i am used of that, as no one measures up to me wherever i go.
Lets have a look at these guys shall we, first we got Sadler, Syberus and Haven. Lets be frank shall we, these guys sure do try, but if this is the best the UCW has to throw at me, this is going to be easier than i thought, look at them, running around calling each other GREEN, Fact is they are all Green compared to the Centre of Attention!
What about the rest of the roster?
Honestly, i don't know many of the others, Rayzor is a little Piss Ant who thinks far to much of himself, and DK, well, its jokes like him that make Turkey's like Rayzor think they are so good!
The driver takes a right, and picks his nose.
Wow, looks like your not here to mince words or make friends.
You got that right, i got all the friends i need coming in with me, and thats the KGB, Kross Global Bandits, and trust me when i say that these turkey's have never seen anything like us in there lives, we are going to turn this place on its head, and i like it like that!
I can't wait, it sure is going to be exciting, we are almost out of time, but one more question, your scheduled opponent this week, El Rico?
El Rico, what a laugh that is, this turkey doesn't stand a chance, and i am going to make an example of him, a lesson to all the piss ants around here of what is in store for them if they get in my way!
I dont know who this Mexican taco bender is, and i dont care, it could be Robert Hunglestein the Turd, Sweet Mouth Cobryn, or that pesky 2DC JD Young, who was meant to be facing me by the way, but then came to his senses and pulled out of the match, straight after changing his pants that is, so now I've got this El Rico, and thats fine with me, obviously having my name on the card will boost ppv buy rates by ten fold, but whoever it is under that mask, it doens't matter, i am going to tear him to peices and show everyone around here exactly why i am regarded as THE number ONE man in his industry!
The era of Soutter has arrived here in UCW, and i like it like that!
[Scene fades with the driver poking his finger in his ear.]
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Post by Soutter on Jun 16, 2007 0:55:23 GMT
[Renegades of Funk by Rage Against the Machine hits, and Tamara looks around, a bit bemused as this isn't here music.]
Brian Solie : Whats going on here, this isn't Tamara's theme music!
[James Fierce of the KGB walks out onto the rampway, the crowd pops huge, and he stands there, ignoring them, and slowly applauding in the direction of the ring.]
Brian Solie : What the hell does he want, and what is he doing out here?
Gringo Sanchez : Maybe is you would shut up for a second, we might just find out!
[Fierce continues clapping, and Tamara and Lee both look at each other a bit taken back.]
James Fierce : Well done there pretty lady! Thats was one great effort, beating that big guy, you should be real proud of yourself. Now, do yourself a favor, a get the hell out of there, and back to the kitchen where you belong, i have some mans business to take of right now.
[Tamara reaches over to Iron Mike Cappetta and grabs the mic from him, only to have Lee rip it out of her hand.]
Lee Williams : WHO THE HELL ARE YOU, AND WHAT THE HELL DO YOU .............
[CRACK!]
Brian Solie : Jesus Christ, where did they come from? "The Tank" Stan Wilson and Soutter just slide into the ring, and Stan just grabbed Lee and hoisted him up over his head and drilled the big man with a devastating chokeslam!
Gringo Sanchez : What power! Lee is almost 7 ft, and over 300 pounds, and Stan just lifted him up like he was a cruiserweight!
[Tamara looks on at Stan in shock, and Soutter grabs a handful of here hair, she tries to struggle, but Soutter is just to powerful, and he turns her around, then flips her up onto his shoulder with a pumphandle, and drops her on her head with a crushing Viagra Driver.]
Brian Solie : Thats the Soutter Special, that SOB just nailed Tamara with the Soutter Special, this is unbelievable!
Gringo Sanchez : Neither Lee or Tamara have moved, and now Fierce is sliding into the ring to join his pals.
Brian Solie : Of course they haven't moved, they just beat the living hell out of each other in a brutal hardcore championship bout, and now these clowns come in here and cherry pick them off like they are kings or something!
James Fierce (laughing) : Well, i warned you toots, you should of bailed while you had the chance. And that goes for the whole damn locker room out the back, the KGB is here now, and we don't fool around, here is your chance right now, to bail out on this fed, and run and hide elsewhere, because we aren't here to make you guys look good ....
[Soutter and Stan lean up against the ropes, smiling and nodding at what James Fierce is saying.]
James Fierce : We are here for one reason, and one reason only!
[Suddenly Reginald Packer comes out onto the ramp, the crowd looks up at him excitedly, and huge pop is heard though out the arena.]
Reginald Packer : Hold it right there!
[The KGB look on at Packer making his way down to the ring with a slightly curious, and amused look on there face.]
Reginald Packer : You guys got a lot of nerve coming out here and attacking my workers like that!
A hell of a lot of nerve!
And i like that, thats why i brought you's in here in the first place, from now on, things are going to be different around here, my word is law here, and if any of you dont like it, then take a look at this right here....
[Packer motions to the KGB.]
Reginald Packer : These guys work for me now, they do what "I" say, and when i say it!
[WHAM!]
Brian Solie : I don't believe it! Stan just wrapped that big meathook of his around the throat of Packer and drilled him with a thunderous chokeslam! WHY?
Gringo Sanchez : Why? I dont know, maybe it had somethi.....
James Fierce : LISTEN UP PACKER! We don't take orders from anyone, least of all a crazy old coot like you, in case you haven't noticed, we are the KGB, KROSS GLOBAL BANDITS, not the F'N HORSEMEN!
[All three members of the KGB begin stomping away on Packer, and a group of preliminary wrestlers come out to try and save Packer, only to be beaten senseless by the KGB.]
Brian Solie : These guys are relentless, and good on some of these kids for trying to help out Reg, where is the big name talent around here when you need it?
Gringo Sanchez : What big name talent?
[Almost on cue, 2DC, JD Young comes swaggering out onto the rampway, he stands out on the rampway for a short moment, taking in the scene, and then slowly, cockily makes his way down the ramp, the KGB still continue to pummel away on the prelim guys not seeing Young, and he reaches under the ropes and casually pulls Packer out of there, putting him on his shoulder and heading up the ramp.]
Brian Solie : Folks, we have to take a break, dont go anyway, we'll be right back!
**ADVERTISMENT FOR SEPTEMBER PPV**
[The scene comes back to show Stan Wilson and James Fierce sitting at the commentary booth with and Soutter in the ring with El Rico.]
Stan Wilson : Welcome back folks, this next match shapes up to be a barn burner!
James Fierce : How right that is Stan, could be a real dare i say it, slobberknocker!
Stan Wilson : Well, the fans at home are probably wondering what is going on right here, so lets quickly take you back and show you what you just missed during the break!
[The screen then changes and "During the break" comes up, JD Young is shown taking off with Reg Packer, and Soutter is then shown grabbing the mic, putting forth an open challenge to anyone in the building, and then the masked El Rico coming out and accepting in a heavy, but obviously fake Mexican accent. Stan and Fierce are then seen telling Solie and Sanchez to take a hike and setting up in the commentating booth.]
James Fierce : There you have it fans, thats pretty much what happened, and now we are ready to get this one under way. Referee Robert McFly signals for the bell, and here we go!
Ding, ding, ding!
Stan Wilson : Soutter goes to hook up with El Rico, but El Rico ducks under it, and hits Soutter with a drop kick, but the big guy doesn't budge.
James Fierce : Soutter then grabs El Rico, and tosses him into the ropes, El Rico comes bouncing of, and cannons into Soutter, who just stands there and sends El Rico to the mat with a shoulder block!
Stan Wilson : Soutter picks up El Rico from the mat, and throws him into the ropes again, and again El Rico bounces straight of Soutter, these have got to be the stiffest Shoulder blocks in the game today!
James Fierce : The Big Bad Bustling Bandit just having his way with this masked mystery man!
[Soutter delivers a big headbut to El Rico, then whips him into the corner, and starts wailing away on him with some very stiff forearms.]
Stan Wilson : Soutter now whips El Rico into the opposite turnbuckle, then follows him in there and crushes him with a vicious Soutterlanche!
James Fierce : Thats over 400 pounds right there crushing that wretched sap.
Stan Wilson : I believe Soutter could finish him off right here if he wanted to!
James Fierce : He could of done that 3 minutes ago i think Stan, when the bell rang!
Stan Wilson : True, he is out there right now, showing the rest of the uCw exactly what is in store for them, and making an example of this El Rico!
[Soutter throws El Rico to the ropes, and this time plants him with a devastating Farrooq Dominator (Soutter Splat), and then gets back to his feet with a perfect Soutteruni, and the crowd pop big time.]
James Fierce : What power by Soutter there!
Stan Wilson : And how about that agility with that Soutteruni, for a big guy, he sure moves well in the ring. He isnt the quickest, thats for sure, but he does have tremendous acceleration, "BOOM!" he can get you just like that! Just like he did with that wheel barrow spinning overhead suplex!
James Fierce : The Centre of Attention is just toying with him now, lifts up El Rico, and plants him with a full nelson face buster, then picks him up and floors him with a double arm sit out chokeslam, and this one is over!
Stan Wilson : Soutter goes for a cover, and referee Robert McFly drops for the count.
Robert McFly : 1...................... 2......................... (Soutter lifts El Rico up off the mat.)
James Fierce : The big guys doesn't seem to be satisfied yet, and he is telling the crowd, "not yet"!
Stan Wilson : Ref McFly protesting to Soutter, who dismisses him and signals for the Soutter Special!
James Fierce : Soutter grabs El Rico, lifts him up onto his shoulder with the pump handle, and then drops him on his head with a devastating Viagra Driver!
Stan Wilson : Soutter Special, thats the Soutter Special!
[Soutter stands up and covers El Rico with his foot no the chest.]
Robert McFly : 1........................ 2 ........................ 3!!!!!
James Fierce : Soutter wins, Soutter wins!!!!
[Rip it Up by 28 Days hits!]
Iron Mike Cappetta : Winner of the match, Soutter!!!!!
[Soutter slides out of the ring, as Stan and Fierce take of the headphones, they high 5 each other, and make there way up the rampway, as we fade to a commercial.]
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Post by Soutter on Jun 16, 2007 0:58:57 GMT
Soutter has already arrived in the ring as the fans chant 'Suit Suit!!'
Solie: Fans..this is time that Soutter has asked for and according to our sources he even PAID for this time..he has something he wants to say...so..I guess we're going to take it up to the Suit...
Lisa: How many of those Hawaiian shirts DOES he have?
Soutter: What’s up, Georgia?
I'll tell you ... it feels great to be here .... but before we get the party started ... there's something .... or should i say a certain someone i need to address.
Seem's some around here have either been living in a cave, or under a rock or something ... and just don’t know who the hell i am.
Well, let me set it straight for you.
I am The Big Bad Bustling Bandit.
The Centre of Attention
The number ONE man in this industry today.
I have seen it all ... and I have done it all.
And I am here to do it all over again baby!
[Loud pop from the crowd.]
Soutter : And I like it like that!
But what I don’t like ... and will not under any circumstances tolerate ... is some snot nosed greenhorn rookie disrespecting me!
So ....
Thunderstruck hits as Soutter is interrupted and looks unknowingly, then his expression switches to irritation as DKahuna makes his way down to ringside .... he is carrying a small bag.
DK: Suit Suit Suit.....has it come to this for you? Has your career reached the point that you have to seek out has beens and never where’s to fight..sad..very sad indeed!!
Solie: What’s DK doing here...he wasn’t scheduled to be here..does he even WORK here anymore..its been ages since we've seen him...
Soutter : Speak of the devil ... isn't that rich ... YOU ... talking about "has been's" and "never where’s"!
DK: I’m amazed you’d be so weak kneed to let some kid slap you across the face and you just STOOD there...
Soutter :Listen up turkey ..... you must have rocks in your head to come here interrupt me like this .... what the hell are you thinking?
DK holds up the bag.
DK : Well .... Seeing you out there like this ... got me to thinking of the good old days .... back in Germany .... well ... what I am trying to say is ....
DK tosses Suit the bag.
DK : You left this behind when you ran from the fed with your tail between your legs .. .so I thought .... seeing as though we are such good old buddies and all ....
Suit rolls his eyes at DK , and then opens the bag pulling out a big tub labeled "ASS CREAM" .... he's entire face turns red with anger and he throws the tub at DK ... just missing him.
Soutter : LOOK TURKEY ..... i came here looking for a fight ... makes no difference to me if its some young upstart kid looking to make a name for himself off of me ... or the likes of you ... so .....
Soutter drops the mike and invites DK to enter the ring..DK slowly approaches when a female voice breaks into the arena.. Brandy walks down the aisle carrying a mike and dressed in a short mini and white shirt.
Brandy: One second there boys..just one second!! Before you two go and whip the hell outta each other..lemme remind you that first DK..YOU aren’t supposed to even BE here..and Soutter..just cause you’re a guest again tonight..dont think you get any special treatment..IM in charge here..and don’t either of you forget it!!
Solie: Brandy making her presense felt here. Soutter taking exception to the opinions of DK and DK seemingly willing to take on the big man.
Brandy: Since IM running this show tonight and you BOTH are skating on thin ice... there will be NO match between you tonight!!
Crowd boos as Soutter acknowledges their dislike in the decision
Brandy: HOWEVER!!! April 6th....it will be...Soutter..going one on one..against DK!! And it will be a no holds barred match!!
Solie: WOW!! Soutter and DK in a no holds barred match..set for the next Warfare!!
This is a huge announcement...
Lisa: But can she DO that? She’s only running the show tonight...will the match be allowed to stand?
Solie: I think the fans want to see it..Souter looks more than willing to take it. DKs smiling at the decision. This is HUGE!!
The crowd chants 'Suit...Suit' as DK glares at the fans in anger.
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Post by Soutter on Jun 16, 2007 0:59:24 GMT
Soutter has already arrived in the ring as the fans chant 'Suit Suit!!'
Solie: Fans..this is time that Soutter has asked for and according to our sources he even PAID for this time..he has something he wants to say...so..I guess we're going to take it up to the Suit...
Lisa: How many of those Hawaiian shirts DOES he have?
Soutter: What’s up, Georgia?
I'll tell you ... it feels great to be here .... but before we get the party started ... there's something .... or should i say a certain someone i need to address.
Seem's some around here have either been living in a cave, or under a rock or something ... and just don’t know who the hell i am.
Well, let me set it straight for you.
I am The Big Bad Bustling Bandit.
The Centre of Attention
The number ONE man in this industry today.
I have seen it all ... and I have done it all.
And I am here to do it all over again baby!
[Loud pop from the crowd.]
Soutter : And I like it like that!
But what I don’t like ... and will not under any circumstances tolerate ... is some snot nosed greenhorn rookie disrespecting me!
So ....
Thunderstruck hits as Soutter is interrupted and looks unknowingly, then his expression switches to irritation as DKahuna makes his way down to ringside .... he is carrying a small bag.
DK: Suit Suit Suit.....has it come to this for you? Has your career reached the point that you have to seek out has beens and never where’s to fight..sad..very sad indeed!!
Solie: What’s DK doing here...he wasn’t scheduled to be here..does he even WORK here anymore..its been ages since we've seen him...
Soutter : Speak of the devil ... isn't that rich ... YOU ... talking about "has been's" and "never where’s"!
DK: I’m amazed you’d be so weak kneed to let some kid slap you across the face and you just STOOD there...
Soutter :Listen up turkey ..... you must have rocks in your head to come here interrupt me like this .... what the hell are you thinking?
DK holds up the bag.
DK : Well .... Seeing you out there like this ... got me to thinking of the good old days .... back in Germany .... well ... what I am trying to say is ....
DK tosses Suit the bag.
DK : You left this behind when you ran from the fed with your tail between your legs .. .so I thought .... seeing as though we are such good old buddies and all ....
Suit rolls his eyes at DK , and then opens the bag pulling out a big tub labeled "ASS CREAM" .... he's entire face turns red with anger and he throws the tub at DK ... just missing him.
Soutter : LOOK TURKEY ..... i came here looking for a fight ... makes no difference to me if its some young upstart kid looking to make a name for himself off of me ... or the likes of you ... so .....
Soutter drops the mike and invites DK to enter the ring..DK slowly approaches when a female voice breaks into the arena.. Brandy walks down the aisle carrying a mike and dressed in a short mini and white shirt.
Brandy: One second there boys..just one second!! Before you two go and whip the hell outta each other..lemme remind you that first DK..YOU aren’t supposed to even BE here..and Soutter..just cause you’re a guest again tonight..dont think you get any special treatment..IM in charge here..and don’t either of you forget it!!
Solie: Brandy making her presense felt here. Soutter taking exception to the opinions of DK and DK seemingly willing to take on the big man.
Brandy: Since IM running this show tonight and you BOTH are skating on thin ice... there will be NO match between you tonight!!
Crowd boos as Soutter acknowledges their dislike in the decision
Brandy: HOWEVER!!! April 6th....it will be...Soutter..going one on one..against DK!! And it will be a no holds barred match!!
Solie: WOW!! Soutter and DK in a no holds barred match..set for the next Warfare!!
This is a huge announcement...
Lisa: But can she DO that? She’s only running the show tonight...will the match be allowed to stand?
Solie: I think the fans want to see it..Souter looks more than willing to take it. DKs smiling at the decision. This is HUGE!!
The crowd chants 'Suit...Suit' as DK glares at the fans in anger.
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Post by Soutter on Jun 16, 2007 0:59:50 GMT
[The scene opens up to show The Big Bad Bustling Bandit ... Soutter. He is entering the The Civic Centre....Roanoke Virginia ... wearing a Hawaiian shirt open on the top of a SWAT T-shirt. Someone is standing at the entrance with a camera.]
Soutter : UCW ..... what the hell have i gotten myself into.
[Soutter rolls his eyes.]
DK!
Listen up Turkey!
You predict victory?
I demand drug tests around this joint!
Because he must be on something if he actually thinks he has a hope in hell against the Suit.
Packer ... i am not joking ... i am dead serious!
If this clown is going to be getting in the ring with me ... then i dont want him falling over his own drug induced feet and breaking my neck.
[Soutter stops himself for a moment .. .staring in thought.]
Actually ... screw it. The only way that would happen is for him to get in that position to begin with.
Which ... lets face it. aint gonna happen.
DK!
I admire you in a way.
Admire you for your never say die and .....
[Soutter winks cornily to the camera.]
and .... "we'll get 'em next time" attitude.
Its really something to be proud of ... a true roll model .....
.... For all of the battlers out there.
Problem for you pal ... is ... you are not getting in there with a battler.
No ... no!
Your getting in there with "THE" Big Bad Bustling Bandit!
The Centre of Attention!
The number ONE man in this industry today!
I'm loud and proud!
I got the skill to thrill!
The name to entertain!
And i like it like that!
[Soutter glares angrily at the camera and then heads into the arena ... the scene fading to ....]
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Post by Soutter on Jun 16, 2007 1:00:34 GMT
[The scene opens up to show The Centre of Attention, Paul Soutter, sitting in the Phoenix Arizona desert. He is wearing (surprise, surprise) a Hawaiian Shirt over the top of a SWAT t-shirt. And he looks hot. Hot and slightly bothered.]
Soutter : What sort of shit whole town is this. So hot ... and so boring.
Nothing to do ... a hot air balloon ride?
Been there done that.
Sitting by the grand canyon?
Been there done that.
A round of golf?
You guessed it. Been there and done that.
No wonder they got us coming out here. This desert hicks would just about go bonkers if it weren't for the likes of us coming down to entertain them.
[Soutter sits there contemplating for a moment.]
Phoenix .... the most dead beat, full of hot air, waste of time and space, boring full of himse ... itself ... ummm, town .... in the universe.
But enough of this town.
Who really cares where we go ... seen one place ... seen 'em all.
Beat one Turkey ... beat 'em all!
[Soutter stand up removing his Hawaiian shirt due to the heat.]
Enough of this dribble.
DK!
You most consider yourself the most lucky man in the universe.
Scoring a win over the big bad bustling bandit?
Many have called it a miracle.
And they would be right.
A one in a million shot.
But ... it looks like your luck just ran out pal.
See ... we are scheduled to meet again.
And the odds of you walking out of this one with all your arm raised again ... well ... thats like lightning striking in the same place twice. Just aint gonna happen.
Lets face facts ... the only reason you got the duke was because of the Phillapino whore standing up on the apron exposing herself.
Now ... i am not making excuses ... i am a professional and should be able to ignore distractions like that in a match ... just stating the facts is all.
But i just couldn't take my eye's off her.
All the stories i had heard.
I admit it.
I lost it.
I don't know what i was expecting ... her to load up with a ping pong ball and take aim or something.
And the strange thing is ... i havent been able to stop thinking about her since.
And now they tell me not only are we meeting up again ... but that the girls will be coming out to ringside with us.
Well ... that almost makes having a loss to DK on my record worth it.
Almost.
I'll make up for that this week when i get you in the ring DK.
And then once your out of the picture ... then its time for me and Lisa to get down and dirty and have some fun with Kitana.
[Soutter cackles and rubs his hands together like a dirty old man ... its a very disturbing and unattractive sight.]
Speaking of Lisa .. what a little firecracker she turned out to be.
Who would of thunk it.
No one was more surprised then myself when she came and got herself involved ... but on reflection who could blame her.
I am mean look at me.
[Soutter flex's his muscles ... there is no definition. ... just a fat man in a SWAT t-shirt flexing his muscles.]
Who could blame her.
She is one smart cookie .... everyone knows. If you want to make a name for yourself in this business ... then jump onto the biggest stars coat tails you can .... and let them take you all the way to the top.
And what bigger star then the Suit?
DK ... you think the beating i gave you last week was something ... you have no idea what i have in store for you this week.
Yeah, you may of got the "W" in the win column ... but who left who standing?
Who dropped who on there head with the Soutter Special .... and then had there with your Phillipino tart?
And this week gets he chance for a little more of her?
DK ... your days are numbered.
Then i'll get Kitana's number ... and ..... i like it like that!
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Post by Soutter on Jun 16, 2007 1:02:24 GMT
Scene opens up to the back of the Phoenix arena. Soutter covered in sweat after his match ... his Hawaiian Shirt sprawled in a corner on the floor. He doesn't look happy ... as is evidenced by the table laying on its side and he is pacing back and forth .... yelling into the camera.
Soutter : STUPID BLOODY WOMEN!
I have had it up to here (Suit points to the top of his head) with them skirts.
I'll tell you right now.
Next skirt gets involved in my business ... i'm dropping straight on there head.
Thats goes for all you tramps who want to ride on the Suit's coat tails. Kitana ... Dracon ... even you Lisa ... any of you cows so much as show your faces any where near that ring when i am in there ... and i'll be more then happy to show you exactly where your true place in this business is ... lying flat on your back ... whether it takes a Soutter Special to get you there or not.
God knows thats the only way i'll ever see you on your back Lisa.
Running around here like your my number one fan ... well where are ya now?
I don't know ... and to tell you the truth ... i dont really care ... one thing is sure ... you sure as hell aint here with me!
In fact ... this isnt just a message to the girls of UCW ... this is a word to the wise for everyone around here!
I'm putting this fed on notice!
Soutter keeps pacing back and forth.
The games are over.
No more women running around trying to steal the Suit's spotlight with there little T & A shows.
Never again.
I'm the Centre of Attention!
The Big Bad Bustling Bandit!
The number ONE man in the business today!
I'm loud and proud baby!
Got the skill to thrill!
and the name to entertain!
Suit still pacing back and forth .... a UCW road agent comes into the room.
Road Agent : Hey Suit ... bad luck out there.
Soutter : Bad Luck!
Road Agent : Whoa. Easy big guy ... just coming over here to let you know ... i just heard the news ... next Warfare ... its you and R.C. ... Xtreme title match!
Soutter : Me and R.C, hey. Xtreme title on the line.
Sounds like fun.
Suit stops pacing and sits down on the bench ... motioning for the agent to join him.
Soutter : Isn't R.C. the one who had his way with CSK in that ambulance? Beat the ever loving crap out of him and sent him running ... or should i say after that beating ... crawling from another fed?
Road agent : Yep. Thats the guy.
Soutter : Well ... i'll be sure to shake his hand and congratulate him on that ... no mean feat at all.
Road Agent : Really?
Soutter : Certainly. Thats a tremendous accomplishment. I mean ... its not every day that CSK is sent packing from a fed after promising the world and then when given the chance to shine ... coming up short.
Well ... actually ... hang on a sec ... that does seem to happen a heck of a lot.
Still ... i aint seen it done in the fashion that R.C. did in that ambulance ... hey ... hasn't some turkey been stalking R.C. and attacking him with the lights out ever since that night when CSK was "violated"?
Road Agent : Sorry suit ... cant go there pal ... actually ... i gotta .............
Suddenly the lights go out in the locker room ... there is a lot of noises and sounds ... an obvious scuffle .... the lights come back on to show both Suit and the Road agent layed out on the floor of the locker room ... the scene then fades to .................
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Post by Soutter on Jun 16, 2007 1:03:12 GMT
[The scene opens up to show the Centre of Attention, Soutter, standing in the middle of a busy street. He has a camera crew with him, and is holding a mic like an interviewer. Suit is wearing his customary Hawaiian Shirt over the top of a SWAT T-Shirt. Soutter also has a can of R.C. cola in his hand ... he takes a sip of it, and spits it out ... throwing the can.] Soutter : Jesus! That stuff tastes like shit!
Soutter : Excuse me sir. Got a few moments for the UCW fans?
Man : Well .... i'm in kind of a hu ...
Soutter : (cutting him off) Thats great. Firstly ... what are your impressions of UCW?
Man : UC what? I am sorry ... i dont know what you are talking about.
Soutter : Ultimate Championship Wrestling. Warfare!
Man : I am so sorry ... but i dont follow that stuff. I wouldn't know the first thing about any UCW.
Soutter : Well then why did you agree to this interview? Wasting my time. Hit the bricks!
[Soutter walks off on the man leaving him gobsmacked ... and approaches a pimple faced teenager wearing a Slim Shaddy t - shirt.]
Teenager : Is this camera on?
Soutter : Sure is pal. You think i am standing out here talking to the unwashed for pleasure?
Teenager : (having a quick smell of himself) Hey ... i shower!
Soutter : Obviously not as much as you should. Look at you ... covered in acne .... how can you even walk out on the street looking like that ...
Teenager : F*%# YOU MAN! You don't know who you are f*'ing with!
Soutter : Yeah ... i am sure you are a big tough street thug ... lucky for me your "homie's" aren't around.
Teenager : And who are you to insult me ... ever looked in the mirror ... fat pei .....
[Soutter boots the kid square in the arse sending him flying out of camera shot.]
Soutter : Get to steppen' punk. Maybe one day you can grow up to be a real life hoodlum like Bruno ... i am sure you will make great cell mates ... life long friends.
[Soutter walks over to a couple of yuppies sitting at a table enjoying a latte.]
Soutter : Afternoon ... got time for a few words with the UCW fans?
[Yuppie one goes to answer ... but Suit notices two pretty girls sitting on the next table and just moves off on the yuppies towards the girls, not giving the yuppie the chance to reply.]
Soutter : (Val Venis impression) Hello Ladies.
[The two girls look at the 400 pound man wearing a Hawaiian shirt and cringe.]
Soutter : Girls ... the fans want to know ... what do the pretty ladies out there like yourselves look for in a wrestler?
Girl One : A hot body!
Girl Two : Big Muscles! Not to big ... but .... ahh .. who am i kidding ... the bigger the better.
Soutter : (sucking his gut in) Yeah ? What about all that size doesn't matter talk?
[The girls look at each other and giggle.]
Soutter : (rolling his eyes) Looks like we have a couple of rocket scientists here folks. The perfect reflection of the female race.
Girl One : Whateva!
Girl Two : Like ... what do mean by that?
Soutter : What i mean toots ... is that you two bloody air heads wouldn't know what to look for in a wrestler if it came out and bite you.
Girl One : Did he just call me toots?
Soutter : Look girlie. You bloody women ... your all the same. Nag, nag, nag. Talk, talk, talk. Your as bad as that turkey R.C.
Girl Two : You cant talk to us like that!
Girl One : Being compared to R.C. ... i have never been so insulted!
Soutter : I can and i will. You skirts have had it too good for too long. All these men pandering to you. All because they want a piece of that ass. Well screw that. If i feel the need ... i'll pay for it.
[Soutter flips the table over ... spilling their latta's all over their short tops.]
Soutter : (into the camera ... the girls yelling and jumping up and down in the background) Well ... there you have it folks. The unwashed .. .and there opinions ... if you could call them that ... of the UCW and everyday life.
And what did we learn out here today.
Not very much unfortunately.
But ... if you really want to learn something ..... then tune into Warfare this coming Wednesday.
Where you will see first hand what the Big Bad Bustling Bandit is capable of!
First i start with RC!
Then i still got things to settle with DK.
Not to mention the women. Any of them cows show themselves anywhere near me, im taking there heads off as soon as look at them.
And i like it like that!
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Post by Soutter on Jun 16, 2007 1:03:52 GMT
This is a joint KGB promo by myself and James fierce
[The scene opens up to the locker room after Warfare 5. We see both Soutter and James Fierce sitting in there ... Suit in his usual Hawaiian shirt over the top of a KGB t- shirt ... Fierce denim pants and a KGB t-shirt. There is also an unnamed rookie in the room with them.]
Rookie: Hey guys...
[Fierce and Suit both grunt to the rookie.]
Rookie: What a show ... man ... you really destroyed R.C. out there tonight Suit!
Soutter: Just another day at the office.
Rookie: So ... the legendary KGB is here in the UCW ... hey.... do you think i could.....
Soutter & Fierce: (together) NO!
[The Rookie drops his head.]
Soutter: I'll tell you want you can do though ... how about you make yourself useful and go fetch me a sandwich?
Rookie: Huh?
James Fierce: You heard him! A sandwich! Fetch!
Soutter: (Lt Thaddeus Harris from Police Academy imitation) MOVE IT! MOVE IT! MOVE IT!
James Fierce: STOP!!!!(The unnamed kid confused) Get me a margarita while you’re at it.
Soutter: Mmmmm ... pizza!
James Fierce: You know they have pizza buffets up here in the states...
Soutter: Yeah ... banned from 86 of them now ... (Rookie listening in intently like he is part of the convo) ... do i have to tell you a third time?
[The rookie quickly darts from the room.]
James Fierce: Don't forget my drink! It’s hard to find good help these days.... that boy wouldn’t last 2 days in Japan.
[Groups of production guys enter the room and nod there heads to the KGB ... .then begin setting up a KGB banner behind the Kross Global Bandits.]
James Fierce: Make sure you guys put up the right banner...
Soutter: That looks a bit crooked to me ... a little higher on the left!
[The production guys roll there eyes ... but don't dare answer back.]
James Fierce: Leave it to Packard to hire Bruno and Dk as his production guys. When will he learn?
Soutter: Ha! Them turkey's must be moving up in the world! Speaking of DK ... i still owe him one ... and his Asian whore!
[The production guys finish setting up the banner and lights ... then move into position behind the camera.]
James Fierce: Was her beaver slanted?
Soutter: Haven't had the pleasure of finding that out ... yet!
[Soutter with a disgusting chuckle.]
Production Guys: Ready?
[Soutter stands up ... picks up his newly won Extreme title and plunks it on his shoulder.]
Production Guys: Action!
James Fierce: Hold on! Damn it to hell....You guys always start before i can get a chance to get ready
Production Guy: Cut!
[Soutter fidgets around ... adjusting the title on his shoulder and his Hawaiian shirt.]
[James adjusts his shirt then takes a sip of his drink.]
James Fierce: Now I am ready.
Production crew: Action!
James Fierce: Tonight was just the beginning. With big Suits win tonight things are going to change! This is a new era in the UC stinking W.
Soutter: That’s right turkeys! R.C ... you were the first.... but sure as hell won’t be the last!
James Fierce: Damn straight he won't be the last. The Bandits are back and ready to roll rough shot over the UCW, the tag division, Heavyweight division and every other division we can think of.
Soutter: This little pond just got a taste of the big fish! We are the sharks around here ... and you tad poles better swim for your life! This is just the beginning!
[Soutter taps his Extreme title]
James Fierce: A small Piece of the puzzle. We are here for gold and power.
Soutter: A taste if you will of what happens when the Bandits come to town. At first i came over here for some fun ... and look what happens ... turkey's like DK and every second female to enter the arena want to get involved in my shit! That’s when my good friend here phoned me up and gave me the roasting of my life. He told me things no one else in this world would get away with saying ... but you know what ... he was right!
James Fierce: Damn straight. Soutter needed an attitude. And boys let me tell you what, the biggest fish in this shit hole pond just got mad, and no one will step in the ring with the BIG S-U-I-T and not feel the results for years to come.
Soutter: And now look at the results.... not one.... but TWO BANDITS in the house!
Soutter: R.C. .... You must of really pissed someone off around here ... not only do you get put up against me to lose your Ex ... i mean ... MY.... Extreme title ... but now you have to suck it up and get back in the ring with me a second time!
James Fierce: And to all those who think it will be a good idea to interfere, I will be at ringside with a little surprise.
Soutter: Extreme rules bitches! That means us TWO.... can do anything we god damn well please! Not that we wouldn't anyways!
[Soutter and Fierce chuckle.]
Soutter: Here's how it’s going to roll around here! R.C. .... You’re the unlucky sap getting thrown to the wolves ... i would like to say don't take it personal ... but as of now ... everything around here is personal!
James Fierce: Next week, if I don't see my name in the marquee there will be hell to pay. You guys thought last week was bad, well this week will be even worse, and if I am not booked next week, the blood will be on the booker man's hands.
Soutter: And if you think we are happy with this here Extreme Championship ... think again ... we want it all! Tag Belts ... Extreme Belts ... THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT BELT! Things are about to heat up around here ... and you turkey's have two choices ... get out of the way ... or get mowed the fuck down!
Production guy: Cut!
Soutter: Right! Now where is that damn kid with my sandwich!
James Fierce: And my margarita.
[Scene fades .....]
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Post by Soutter on Jun 16, 2007 1:04:36 GMT
[The scene opens up to show "The Suit", Paul Soutter, backstage at the Georgia Dome after Halfway to Hell. He is sitting on the bench wearing his Hawaiian Shirt over the top of his KGB t-shirt and looks to be just finishing of a sandwich when UCW interviewer Petey comes into the room with a camera.]
Petey : Yo dawg ... we needs to talk!
Soutter : Huh?
Petey : The hommies need some answers G ....
Soutter : (standing) The hommies can kiss my ass!
Petey : (mocking suit) Whoaaaa .... take it easy big guy. Why hate playa?
[Soutter grabs a handful of Petey's shirt lifting him up off his feet so he is now eye to eye with The Centre of Attention.]
Soutter : Listen up turkey! I dont like you.
When you speak to me .... you speak like a normal civilised human being ... and you SPEAK ENGLISH!
[Suit throws Petey out of the camera shot.]
Soutter : Now ... make yourself useful ... and go fetch me a donut or something ............... NOW!!!
Get to steppin!
[Scurrying can be heard out of shot and Suit looks into the camera. Picking up his Extreme Championship and placing it on his shoulder]
Soutter : So ... the cat is out of the bag ... so to speak.
The KGB in cahoots with Brandi ..... god help us!
No! God help you!
[Suit stares into the camera intensely for emphasis.]
What a massacre!
R.C. didnt stand a chance.
Total annihilation!
And that was only the beginning.
The sky is the limit for the KGB ... and together with Brandi ... nothing can stop us!
Nothing!
And i like it like that!
[Scene fades to .... ]
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Post by Soutter on Jun 16, 2007 1:05:22 GMT
[The scene opens up to show a man driving along an unknown stretch of road ... he is an average looking man ... a little chubby in his mid twenties. He has the car radio on.]
Kyle Callaghan : Yo! yo yo! This is Kyle Callaghan and your tuned into Wrestle Radio ... 3 : 16 on your FM dial!
Things are exploding in the wrestling world right now ... and here with me in the studio is the one and only ... Paul Soutter ... how are you going Suit?
Soutter : I'm going all right Kyle .. .yourself? Its been a while.
Kyle Callaghan : It sure has .... the fans have been screaming for us to get you back in here with us ... so many things going on. So ... lets not beat around the bush ... i got some questions that need answering ...
Soutter : Shoot.
Kyle Callaghan : Well ... firstly ... Cinco De Mayhem ... the KGB up against Dracon and his mystery partner ... who turns out to be Triple B ... Big Bad Bill ... and you guys ... lost.
Soutter : That we did. And i am none to please about it ... that shit for brains Xanathos thinks he can take my company from me ... he has another thing coming .... i will never ... NEVER ... let all my hard work there go.
Kyle Callaghan : So you are not finished there then?
Soutter : Not by a long shot! I'm kind a stubborn like that. I will bide my time ... and wait for the right moment ... but believe you me ... i will get my company back!
Kyle Callaghan : That would please a lot of fans ... you have been nothing but the gracious host for them all over in SWAT ... a man of the people ... but something seems to of changed ... your actions at UCW as of late have been totally out of control ... just what is that all about?
Soutter : Look Kyle ... i don't have to answer to you or anyone else for that matter regarding my actions.
I am the Big Bad Bustling Bandit ... and i do what i please ... when i please it!
But i will answer your question for you.
Nothing has gotten into me ... it has always been there.
You see ... you either have it .... or you don't.
Kyle Callaghan : Have what?
Soutter : IT! The killer instinct. The drive to be the best.
The passion to succeed that drives you so much it is a part of your soul ... and you are capable of doing anything and everything to achieve your goals.
That passion has always been a part of me Kyle. But i have kept it under wraps ... pushing it away and forcing it down to places it couldn't surface. But you can never turn it off completely ... i was like a corked bottle ... waiting to explode ... and now that the cork has been removed ...
Kyle Callaghan : We saw exactly what happened ... chaos and mayhem!
Soutter : And your going to see a lot more of it as well ... you see ... i got a call from my best friend in the whole world ... and fellow founding father of the KGB ... one James Fierce ... he said some things to me that no one on the planet would dare have the nerve to say .... but you know what ... he was right!
Kyle Callaghan : What was that ... what did he say?
Soutter : Never you mind!
Kyle Callaghan : Ok ... now ... what about Half way to Hell .. you guys were totally out of line ... what you did to that poor girl ...
Soutter : That poor girl?
Stupid cow should of just stayed behind the microphone ... where she belonged .. and nothing would of happened ... first she tried jumping on the suits coat tails ... hoping for a free ride to the top ... and ends up costing me a match against DK ... and stealing my spotlight at the same time ... spanking Kitana's firm ass ... that should of been me!
Kyle Callaghan : Huh?
Soutter : You heard me! And i told her .. i told them all ... when i am in the ring .. .stay the hell away ... or you'll get your block knocked off.
Thats fair warning.
But did she heed it ... noooooo.
She wants to run in there and try and interfere with the work of the KGB ... by what .... showing a little cleavage and fluttering some eyelashes ... toots ... Brandy knows what it takes to get what she wants ... and right now ... she has us ... the KGB .. Kross Global Bandits ... at her beck and call if you will!
Kyle Callaghan : I was going to ask about that .... it seems a strange alliance if i have ever seen one ... we all know what Brandy is capable ... but she has always been loyal to the HoP .... where do they fit in with all this.
Soutter : Thats none of your concern.
While Brandy is looking after us ... we'll look after here ... and lets leave it at that.
Kyle Callaghan : Ok ... now ... the Xtreme Championship ... you sure do seem to be enjoying those lax stipulations.
Soutter : Lax .... there are no stipulations ... i can do what i like. Why wouldn't i like it.
There are absolutely no restrictions ... if i want to pull out my bike chain and beat, whip and choke the living hell out of someone .. i will.
Allready have actually ... R.C. never knew what hit him ... and he's a good kid .... could come a long way in this business ... but boy did he get a lesson in that there is always a bigger dog then you.
Kyle Callaghan : On that .... who do you think you should be looking at ... who may be of some trouble to you in the future.
Soutter : In UCW?
You gotta be kidding me.
I know there will always be a bigger dog just around the corner ... but not here.
Kyle Callaghan : I don't know ... this place is really taking off ... i could name at least half a dozen names ...
Soutter : SHUT YOUR NECK TURKEY!
Them schmucks cant hand a candle to me!
I am the Big Bad Bustling Bandit!
The Centre of Attention!
The number ONE man in this industry today!
I got the skill to thrill!
The name to entertain!
I'm loud and proud baby!
And i like it like that!
Kyle Callaghan : Great ... we gotta take a quick break ... are you able to hang around for a few calls from the fans.
Soutter : NO!
A loud thud can be heard ... presumably Suit's head set being thrown off as we fade to ......
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Post by Soutter on Jun 16, 2007 1:06:02 GMT
[The scene opens up to the KGB locker room in Oakland following Warfare going off the air.
Soutter and James Fierce are irate ... steam coming from there ears ... tables and pot plants thrown all over the place ... there is a hole in the wall ... and the fridge door is ripped of its hinges.]
Soutter : LUPUS NEBULA!!!!!
James Fierce : DAVE FREAKING SADLER!!!
Soutter : BRICKHEART!!!!
[Soutter kicks a chair sending it flying across the room.]
James Fierce : These clowns have gone too far! They don't have a clue what they are getting themselves into!
Soutter : You know it!
Sadler!
Brickheart!
Nebula!
Listen up!
And all you turkey's who want to get involved in the KGB's business .... LISTEN UP!
You all just made the biggest mistake of your lives ... did you really think you could stand up to the Bandits ... and get away with it?
Did you think we would just what ... go away?
Quit from one loss?
James Fierce : Wrong bet!
We dont go that way!
The Bandits are here to stay ... and here to make your lives a living hell!
Each and every single one of you!
Soutter : And don't think we dont know who you are ... don't think if we haven't mentioned your name ... that you are safe ... no one is safe from the Bandits!
James Fierce : All that means is that we don't care to much about you ... but dont feel neglected ... we'll beat you down just the same as the instigators.
Your either with us ... or your against us ... simple as that!
You guys thought we were a problem before ... Wrong Bet!
We were just here ... going trough the motions ... toying with you punks.
Soutter : And what do you decide to do ... unite against us ... like we are some school yard bully who will fold and crumble and walk away?
James Fierce : Wrong Bet!
Now you've gone and made us mad ... aaaaaand made it personal!
Soutter : Know this!
We will hunt you down ... every last one of you ... and believe me ... once we are done with you ... it will be a long time before any of you even think about getting involved in KGB affairs.
James Fierce : They seem to forget ... all it takes is one phone call to Brandy ... and we can have whatever we want ... any opponent ... any type of match ... you name it!
Soutter : Starting with those so called Hardcore Sensations .... we'll see just how hardcore you are.
'Cause your looking at the Xtreme champ right here!
That means ... when it comes to no rules ... there is no one who can match me in this whole fed ....
James Fierce : Even with the rules ... none of these punks can match you Suit ... we are head and shoulders above them .... actually ... i think we'll make this Tornado tag match hardcore rules.
Brandy will ok it ... so lets just say it now ... this match is now Hardcore rules.
I mean ... we don't follow the rules anyways ... we do what we please ... when we please it!
Soutter : And it is going to please me no end to pummel these turkeys into next week.
James Fierce : Look out UCW ... 'cause the Bandits are lifting it up a gear ....
Soutter : And i like it like that!
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Post by Soutter on Jun 16, 2007 1:06:52 GMT
[The scene opens inside the Library of Congress in Washington, D.C. where we see the greatest thing going in the wrestling business today, the KGB. Soutter and Fierce are both hard at work studying over a bunch of old books dating back 50 years ago.]
James Fierce: It has to be in here! It just has to be!
Soutter: (holding his book up to his face ... really so that it is hiding the titty mag he is reading from Fierce) you’ll find it.
James Fierce: It has to be in here. I mean how hard can it be to find a stinking wrestling rules book? I mean, i have found tons of stuff on Greco roman, folk style, and freestyle...but nowhere, and i mean nowhere have i read anything about pro wrestling.
Soutter: (staring at the nice rack on the red head page 7) ... ummm... yeah.
James Fierce: Those bastards have to pay Suit. First Lupus whatever screws us out of our title shot. Then we find out that Mister Canada is a complete fraud. We have to find that damn book!
Soutter: Ohhh.... they will pay all right. I wonder what they were thinking ... trying to unite against us like that.... turkey's must have rocks in there head.
James Fierce: Wait a second (James peeps at what Suits reading, then grabs it.) You call this research?
Soutter: Ummm..... (Soutter glances at the book in his hands as James has just ripped the titty mag out from it)... Ummm..... YEAH! Here we go! Right here!
[Soutter places the book down on the table and points at it.]
Soutter: Isn't this what you’re looking for?
James Fierce: I'll be damned Suit. You hit pay dirt. Those Sons of Bitches won't know what hit them after we present this to the powers that be (Cheesy WCW reference).
Soutter: Especially with her in our back pocket. (Soutter starts chuckling) I don't know where the hell Packer has disappeared to....but Brandy made the right choice jumping on the Bandits band wagon.
[Soutter takes his titty mag back from Fierce .... puts his feet up on the desk and starts flicking through it again ... an elderly lady walking past gasps in shock.]
James Fierce: No doubt about that. As unstoppable as we are now, we'll soon be indestructible. Heads will roll, and with this information that we gathered, well that’s just icing on the cake.
Soutter: You got that right.... heads will roll. Every single last one of them. Hey! (Looking at the mag closely)... Is that Lisa!
[Soutter shows the mag to Fierce.]
James Fierce: It might be.... i can’t tell. Now that is nice though, so probably not.
Soutter: It couldn’t be.... could it? Nah ... it cant be ... cow wont even put out ... let alone go for something like this.
James Fierce: I'll tell you who will put out though...Brandy, once we hand this information over to her…Gangbang city, if you catch my drift.
Soutter: (Savage impression) Ohhh yeah! That’s one girl who knows how to take care of business and keep the talent happy!
James Fierce: (Hogan impression) ya know brotha, these people don't know what's going to happen when the KGBamanics go wild on them!!
(They both start laughing)
Soutter: How about these turkeys scheduled to face us ... one minute they are leaving, then next staying, then leaving, staying, leaving...
James Fierce: Um who are they? I never knew they where here to begin with. So they are staying? Just one more team to lay down to the almighty KGB. Although they will probably talk smack about something they don't know about.
Soutter: I don't really know who they are.... but you know the type....believe they are a whole lot better then they really are. Seen one, seen em all. Who could blame em either ... if i had to face us ...I'd consider bailing as well.
James Fierce: No doubt. They will fall to our feet, just like those frauds should have, but you know what, this one will have to be special. Send everyone a message
Soutter: You know it. Then it’s the World Tag Team title's ... they will be ours ... one way or another.... the Bandits wont be held down!
James Fierce: This match will be bloodier than our last one, and if someone screws with us again, the next match after that will be just as brutal. It will continue till we kill the sorry SOB's for messing with the Bandits. There are people out there speaking our names that have no reason to do so. Guess what, we are taking notes. No deed will go unpunished, and once will reveal our plans, well lets just say that no one will dare to speak mistruths about the most dominate team going today....The KGB.
Soutter: DAVE BRICKHEART.... LUPUS NEBULA ... DAVE SADLER ... LEE WILLIAMS ... DK AND BRUNO ... these chumps we are facing this week.... If they show ... will all find out about crossing the Bandits!
(James grins.)
Soutter: AND WE LIKE IT LIKE THAT!
(The scene ends with the bandits leaving the Library. In the back all the Book racks begin to fall over in a domino effect.)
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Post by Soutter on Jun 16, 2007 1:07:24 GMT
The scene opens up to a sign reading UCW HEADQUARTERS ... then pans inside to show The Centre of Attention ... Paul Soutter ... wearing his customary Hawaiian Shirt over the top of a KGB T-Shirt. He is walking through a corridor and comes to an office with the name plate BRANDI on the door ... he knocks ... then waits a moment before entering.
Shot switches to inside the office ... legs to die for resting up on the table as Brandi has them plonked up there looking very sexy.
Brandi : Ahhh .... Mr Soutter .... how timely .. i have been hoping we could get together and .....
Brandi suggestively puts her pinky finger in her mouth
Soutter : Yeah ... thats all well and good ... but business first ... we need to talk!
Brandi : Ohhhh?
Soutter : Yes!
What the hell is going on around here?
First Lupus debuts stealing the Bandits spotlight ..... then our attack on Brickheart and Lupus as retaliation is watered down for the show ... not to mention no action in regards to our research at the Library .... and if that isn't enough ... now we have Sadler "over ruling" you on Warfare and us being booked in some cluster every man and his dog tag team title match!
Brandi : Whoa ... easy big guy.
Soutter : Easy nothing! We agreed to work together with you for one reason and one reason only .... because we were under the impression you had some stroke around here and that if we scratched your back ... you would scratch ours.
Brandi : And that is still the case .... things around here ... well .. .they are ... how should i put this .... complicated.
Soutter : Your telling me!
All i know is when i was negotiating our contracts ... to join "UCW" ... that we were actually joining some off shoot of it that would actually be called Warfare ... some red tape crap that don't really concern me ....
Or should i say ... didn't concern me ... because now the people who forced the name Warfare in the first place ... seem to be telling YOU what to do HERE as well!
Brandi : Don't worry about it .... its true ... since Packer has disappeared ... the wolves have circled ... trying to overtake yet another one of his ventures .... and thats why i wanted to associate with you guys ... because i knew you could help me achieve what needs to be achieved.
Then .... once that is done and out of the way ... then you guys will get everything you could of dreamed of and more!
Soutter : Packer .... the guy brings this stuff upon himself .... he has more disappearing tricks then Hudini himself ...
Brandi uncrosses and then re crosses her legs ... Sharon Stone style .... Suit just ogling her for a moment.
Soutter : Look .... its like this ... truth be told ... we don't really need your help ... we are the KGB ... Kross Global Bandits!
We can pretty much have our way here with anyone we choose ... when we choose it ... and run rough shod over all these turkey's at our pleasure.
Sure ... if someone wants to offer us some .... "perks" and a short cut to the top .. .we're more then happy to take them up on that offer ... but don't take too long ... cause short cuts are all well and good ... but just know that the Bandits can get there with or without you ... either way.
Brandi : Ohhh .... i am well aware of what you guys are capable off ... why do you think i called you up in the first place ... and face it ... no one .... (husky voice) no one .... offers the perks that i can!
Soutter : Heh .... ain't that the truth ... you truly are one of a kind.
Soutter whipes some sweat from his forehead and then adjusts his Hawaiian shirt
Now ... i don't want to seem pushy ... if Sadler and Lee are too scared to face the Bandits alone ... then we'll just have to beat them and anyone else they throw in our way ... but what i want you to rectify ... is the travesty of the Pierce debacle.
Fierce and i went to a lot of work to research the situation ... and it seems the information we got from the library and forwarded onto the UCW office has either been neglected or disregarded ... either way ... we want that decision over turned .... and we want it done on this coming Warfare ... as a show of what you can do for us if you will.
Brandi : Consider it done.
Soutter : Great ... now ... onto them perks!
Brandi : Now your talking .... by the way ... where's Fierce?
I always did prefer you two as a tag team ... if you catch my drift!
Soutter : Ohhh ... i catch alright .... and as i always say ... "i like it like that"!
Scene fades too .......
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Post by Soutter on Jun 16, 2007 1:08:03 GMT
[The scene opens to the newly opened KGB mansion. The mansion puts you in mind of the Playboy Mansion, with the exception that the girls are not like the playboy bunnies, think Hustler when you see these ladies.]
Voiceover : Life is Good for the KGB. World Tag team Champions. Extreme Champion. These guys are on a roll. Ah yes, here they are now. Both flanked with ladies on each arm, and each with drinks in each hand.
Soutter (wearing his trademark Hawaiian shirt) : Now this is the life.
James Fierce: World Tag team Champions ... I like the sound of that. World TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS. We knew it was all a matter of time, and we delivered, as always.
Soutter : Of course ...
[One of the girls pours champagne over Suit's head.]
Soutter : Beat it toots ... we're talking business now!
James Fierce: TNA? Losers. Cold Fusion? They never stood a chance. DK and Bruno? Well, i don't even think they realised they was in the match.
Soutter : Losers ... the lot of them turkeys. Supporting cast to the true stars of the show .... us ... The KGB ... Kross Global Bandits!
James Fierce: This has been our show from the start. We are the best damn team here in UCW, and the tag belts prove it. No one has been able to out last us, out class us, or out wrestle us. Simply put, we are the best.
Soutter : Check this out .... (Soutter snaps his fingers and one of the girls runs up to him with a piece of paper which Suit then reads from) Mario DeRanged noted that James Fierce and Paul Soutter are probably two of the strongest Tag Champs UCW has ever had and foresees a good reign for them.
You don't freaken say! Way to go Genius! Talk about going out on a limb! Not!
James Fierce: A good reign? What the hell is he thinking? It will be a freakin' great reign.
Soutter : (rolls his eyes) Turkey should get it right ... we'll hold these belts as long as we god damn well want to. Who's gonna take them from us ... The Kliq? TNA? Come on.
James Fierce: I hear there is rumblings that they might retire these belts, as no one has a snow balls chance in hell at taking them from us.
Soutter : They'll have to get em out of our dying hands first! But what a night! One of our shinning moments ... no doubt about that. Starting with that beat down on that Turkey Myers ... what the hell was he thinking turning his back on the Bandits?
James Fierce: Ah, yes. A classic mistake. You just don't turn your backs on the two biggest and baddest mo fo's in the fed. The kid got what he deserved.
Soutter : He should thank his lucky stars. That beat down ... it wasn't politics ... just a good old fashioned set up. Plain and simple ... we set his ass up. And he now has the privilege of one day telling his grandchildren ... from his wheelchair ... that he's in courtesy of The KGB ... that he was set up and beat down by the legendary KGB.
James Fierce: By the way Suit ... Speaking of beat downs. Do you think that TNA, Sadler specifically, will ever get out of the hospital ... I did enjoy sending them there, and I would love to send them there again
Soutter : You got him at the next Warfare .... yeah?
James Fierce: Thats what they tell me ... but i seriously have my doubts about him showing. Not too many people get up from THE PICTURE PERFECT ELBOW, and I am sure a PPBE with a chain don't feel much better.
Soutter : I'm a bit concerned about that match ... Seems every second person in this fed wants to run it ... and now through our "alliance" with Brandi ... we have been caught up in that. Me personally ... i don't care who runs the show ... as long as the checks don't bounce and the title shots keep coming.
Don't get me wrong ... she can still serve her purposes with us ... but if i were you ... i wouldn't be too concerned with whether you win that one or not.
James Fierce: No worries. The whore will stay in power. I could care less otherwise though, but the way that i see it. With her in power, more power is yielded to the Bandits.
Otherwise, we'd have to beat the snot of the next guy and attached the puppet strings to another spineless bastard, and lets face it, that is too much work.
Soutter : Very true. Myself ... i got a fellow Aussie to Deal with apparently ... that being Mark Deal. He thinks he can walk in here ... and just take my Xtreme Championship?
He must have rocks in his head. After i "Deal" with him ... i'll be sure and keep an eye on your match ... these guys have united against us before ... and may well try again.
James Fierce: United or not, they still don't match up well ... With one exception though. Make sure Mr. AK 47 doesn't ruin this thing. He has become a thorn in our side lately.
Soutter : I'm glad you mentioned him .... all bravado aside ... he is one dangerous hombre ... who we must not underestimate. He is a bigger threat to us then the whole rest of the roster combined. Pity for him that his efforts lead to us actually "winning" the belts. Hahaha.
[Soutter and Fierce have a chuckle.]
James Fierce: But that just shows you. You can't keep winners down, and we are most definitely winners ... in a sea full or pathetic wannabes.
Soutter : True that! It's ironic ... isn't it Kincade? That your actions would lead to us coming out victorious?
James Fierce : You keep on sticking your nose in Bandit business .... Its not to long before you become KGB business.
[Scene switches to out by the KGB pool.]
Soutter : We ain't just got Warfare to worry about this week either ... seems we are in some tourney for the "Crisis" Title.
James Fierce [Surrounded by the ladies once again]: Crisis? The only crisis I am worried about is the one I am going to have if i can't get these ladies off my Belt...
Soutter : You heard him .... scram!
James Fierce: I'll see you gals later ... Anyways, whose idea was it to put the best thing going today in the same tournament for another title that frankly, i could care less about.
Soutter : Why are they even having a tourney for this thing? Correct me if i'm wrong ... but isn't this belt the one that one of them punks who couldn't win one "made" for himself ... and we took from him and gave to Brandi ... after decorating it with the Kliq's spray paint.
Which i may add is the most prestigious thing that piece of tin has going for it ... that we actually recovered it.
James Fierce : Hell Suit, I say we just go ahead and give it back to DK and BRUNO. They have nothing else going for them, and frankly they need a new toy to keep their feeble little minds occupied.
Soutter : Ha!
James Fierce : I'll tell you what. I say we win this little tournament, then afterwards, go down to the play room where Dk and Bruno play with their action figures, and let them have it ... It could make for GREAT TV.
Soutter : Why not .... who ever said the Bandits never gave back in this business ..... And we like it like that!
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